Chapter Twenty-What?

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I groan, hearing the familiar tapping against my window of rain. But it sounds odd today...

No, not odd... Brutal.

My head.. Ow. Oh, fuck... I feel like absolute shit.

Never ever going to drink again. Ever.

I moan as I roll over, trying to get off my bed.

Ow, fuck.

I slowly rise. I look at the still full bottle of rum sitting on my bedside table from last night.

Last night... Oh, fuck, I kissed Louis.

Shit. How am I going to get out of this? What if he asks me about it? Shit.

Alcohol is never penetrating this system again. Ever.

I can hear noise from downstairs... Someone is cooking breakfast, and it smells damn good.

I open my door, and practically drift down to the food. Now I know how Niall feels....

I freeze when I get to the kitchen doorway, seeing as Louis finishes placing something on the table. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." He says, and I turn to face him.

Well, here goes nothing...

"Do you have any idea what happened last night?"

I start to panic. What if he laughs at me?

"Um... Sorry, no." He shakes his head, trying to concentrate on something. "I'll be right back." He says, avoiding my gaze as he walks out of the room and up the stairs.

Oh god, he must have blocked it out. And he remembered... Now he hates me.

No.

He can't hate me!

I sit down, looking at the food, trying to take a shaky breath.

Maybe he thinks I just forgot it all? What if he went up there because he thinks I forgot it all, and now can't stand to be near me because... Because of what?

Fuck, Harry, stop being so stupid. He said he'll be right back.

***

It's now after two thirty.

Louis is still up in his room. I shouldn't have brought it up.

"What's up with Louis today?" Zayn asks.

"Dunno." Liam shrugs, playing with Niall's hair.

"I don't get it, I mean, I checked," Niall says, playing with his boyfriend's shirt. "There are still some carrots in the fridge, so I don't get what could have sent him up there. Harry do you know anything?"

"Uh.." I look into his clear blue eyes. "No idea. Should I?" I pause. "Oh wait, I'm supposed to be his best friend."

I mentally groan. Nice one, Styles, nice one...

"Sorry, you're right." Niall says. "I'm stupid."

"Aw, don't say that, babe." Liam says, pressing his lips to his boyfriend's lightly.

God, why can't Louis and I be like that? Right. Because Louis is.. I don't even know.

I stand.

"I think I'm going to lay down."

"You think so, do you?" Zayn chuckles. "Well, let us know when you know."

"Shut up, Malik." I snap, smirking at him.

"Nah." He laughs as I shake my head, going up to my room.

I chuckle faintly as I head up to my room, turning down the hall when I bump into someone.

"Woah! Sorry!" I say, stumbling back.

"S'alright." Louis mumbles, looking down as he goes to walk past me.

"Louis?" I ask, seeing his eyes slightly. "Louis? Have you been crying?" I ask, taking in his red, puffy eyes.

"No, I got some shit in my eye, and I was going to ask Li to help me get it out." He says, rubbing his right eye.

"Oh." I say, and let him walk past me.

Is it bad that I'm a bit hurt that he wasn't crying over the fact that I didn't remember? But I'm also glad that he's not hurting as badly as I am inside...

What is happening to me?

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