Please Don't Go

Chapter Seven

Two chapters in one day! Woop woop. (This one is super short though, sorry!!)

Chapter Seven

After Lila had her run in with James, she had an appointment with her doctor. Dr. Hines came in with a grim smile on his face and Lila knew right away that it was bad news.  

Lila stiffened and clasped her hands together. Her mother sat next to her, already starting to cry.

“I have some good news, and some bad news.” Dr. Hines stated dramatically. Lila’s mom started to sob and Lila let out a shaky breath.

“You’ve been recovering from your last treatment very well, but I don’t think that doing anymore of this treatment would do you any good.” He said the last part lowly, as if he didn’t really want Lila or her mother to hear what he had to say. Lila looked down at her hands and shook her head. So this is it. This is how it ends.

It’s been four hundred and thirteen days since she first found out. And now it’s time to stop counting how many days it’s been, and start counting how many days she has left.

“Oh, Lila.” Lila’s mom took ahold of Lila’s hand and gave it a light squeeze. Lila looked at her mom and smiled, “I’ll be okay. We saw this coming, right?”

Lila had hoped that her voice would have come out sounding strong, but as she spoke, she realized that she was talking in a harsh whisper.

“Not even chemo therapy, Dr. Hines?” Lila’s mom looked up at the doctor. Dr. Hines glanced between the two of them before slowly shaking his head.

“The last two times you went through with the treatment we suggested…” Dr. Hines was staring straight into Lila’s eyes and she wanted to look away, but she wanted to show him how strong she really is at the same time. So her eyes stayed glued to the doctor’s.

“The last time you went through with treatment, there was nothing that showed that you have improved. The results of your last treatment show that chemo won’t really do you any good.”  Dr. Hines almost murmured and looked down at his clipboard, the results from the last therapy in his hands.

“I could talk to you privately, if you’d like.” Dr. Hines’ attention was now on Lila’s mom, who sniffed and nodded her head.

“We can talk in my office. Lila, if you really want to…” Dr. Hines sounded like he didn’t want to say what he was about to say. “You can go out to the beach.”

“But-“ Lila’s mom butt in, but Dr. Hines shook his head.

 “It’s fine. She can go. Try to avoid running though. And be back before dinner. Please.”

Lila nodded her head and waited until they both left the room. Lila hopped off the bed and pulled on her shoes, not bothering to change from the mandatory nightgown that everyone wore. Lila quickly signed out, not once looking at Dale. Dale didn’t say anything smart to Lila, so Lila had guessed that he knew. He knew about the news that was just given to her. After she had placed the pen down carefully next to the sign out sheet, Lila slowly turned on her heel and dragged her feet out the door.

Once she had made it to the beach, she felt like she was suffocating. She couldn’t breath right. Lila had somehow found herself standing in the spot that she stood after she had talked about her first chemo session. It was the same weather as well. Everything was grey and the waves were crashing angrily. It was like Mother Nature understood Lila. This is bullshit. Why? Lila stomped her foot lightly into the sand. This wasn’t fair.

And to make matters worse, she still hasn’t told Sam. Sam. The one person she could trust one hundred and thirty percent.

Lila had mustered up the courage to tell him countless times, yet she always chickened out at last minute. Making up some story that was unbelievable. Lila knew tat Sam could see right through her little fibs. She wondered why he never pressured her into telling her the truth, and yet, she admired that he never did. Lila admired everything about Sam. He was so open and he wasn’t afraid of the world. She envied the fact that he had nothing to be afraid of.

Lila crouched down and picked up a stick and wrote out the number of days it’s been since she found out.

She sniffed and ran her hand under her nose. She stared straight ahead; right at the grey clouds that were rolling in. She was hoping that it was going to rain. Lila loved the smell of rain. It always brought her back to her childhood when she was almost normal. She didn’t get sick easily and she was allowed to go splash around in the pouring rain. Lila closed her eyes and let the wind whip her hair and white ankle length nightgown around.

Lila then opened her eyes and looked up, silently asking why this had become her life.

A clap of thunder startled her out of her deep thoughts, and she quickly turned her back to the sea. She needs to get back before it rains.

As Lila was walking away from the beach, she swore she heard someone calling her name, but she didn’t look back. Lila only thought that she was hearing the crashing waves call her name telling her to engulf her body into the water and drown herself in her sorrows, and Lila knew that that was something that must not happen.

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