Zaraaya

C H A P T E R: 6

As I walked home, I remembered the most painful day of my life. When my dad left me, and my mom had already ventured into her imaginary world where her only friend was her bottle of alcohol. Stinking of a strange smell of strawberry mixed with something, I held back my urge to puke. Tears welled up in my eyes and my vision became blurry. But the blurry vision did nothing to distort the permanently vivid image in my head. 

As a small kid, my mom always encouraged me to write a diary. It helped me to cope up with the loneliness I felt with no one to share my feelings with as my mom would always be weeping in her bedroom and my dad was rarely ever home.

One evening, just after we had our dinner, I went back to my room to complete my diary's entry. Thinking back to that day brought more tears to my eyes because that was the last dinner I had with my family. Family huh, I scoffed. It was just two adults forced to be in one place with a clueless child wandering around, trying to figure out things her parents should have helped to figure out.

Anyways, as I went back to my room, climbing up the stairs, I could hear my parents yelling at each other. I gave out a sad sigh as I continued my way back to the room until I heard the sound of glass breaking. Then everything went silent. My heartbeats increased as I worried that maybe someone got hurt. Hurriedly, I went downstairs but stopped right before the door. I peeked in, contrary to my instincts that begged me to stay away, that begged me that whatever I was going to see that day is not gonna be good. But as I mentioned before, I was clueless and curious too. That's a bad combination.

I held my breath as their quarreling started yet again. 

"Tell me! Don't you dare lie to me, I've seen you many times getting "professional" with that bitch, you can't hide it today James." My mom screamed, tears coming down her eyes. 

I looked over at my dad who was facing the other side of the room, out the window.

 "Aaaaahhh! Just admit it, James, you were never faithful, you were always a bloody manwhore, all you ever want is sex! You even tried to make get an abortion when I was pregnant with Zaraaya!" Mom yelled out. I blinked once. Then I blinked twice. In the split second where I tried to process the words, my Dad had already stomped towards my mom and ju- 

"Smack!" The sound came bouncing off each wall, and into my ears. My eyes widened as I registered the scene in front of me. My dad had just slapped my mom. He had never, never raised his hand on any of us. I slammed my palm over my mouth to absorb the sobs that were escaping my mouth. I close my eyes as I feel disappointed, so disappointed and upset that I just fall on my knees. I silently pray to God that everything becomes alright after this, but I still knew that nothing would be the same from today. Absolutely nothing. And I was right. Soon after the slap, my mom raised up from the floor and just stood there with a blank face. Her pale, shaky hands resting softly on her red cheek.

"Did y-you just... j-just slap me for that slut? Am I that worthless now? Is this what she has traded you into, a wife beating monster?" Mom stated unbelievably. 

" Just shut up Karen, this isn't the first time I've hit you. So cut the crap. And yes you are worthless, you have absolutely no value in my eyes. Just look at you! which man in his correct sense would even look at you twice?!"

I held my mouth as tightly as I could to stop the sobs that were threatening to come out. Shutting my eyes tightly, I realize that things were only going to get worse from here. Releasing a shaky breath, I slowly start tiptoeing back to my room, cursing myself and my curious stupid mind that led me to be revealed to such brutal truth. My dad never wanted me, He was cheating on my mom, and my mom was becoming an alcoholic. 

Going upstairs, I held the railings of the stairs tightly. I could feel my head getting dizzy, my eyes hadn't stopped tearing down, but I had become quiet now. My sobs had died down. It's like my brain had told me to stay quiet, but my heart wanted to scream out.

And then I heard another loud bang. 

But this time I didn't go back to check. Maybe if I had, I would've seen the blood on mother's forehead. Maybe if I had gone to check, I would've seen the pain in her eyes. Maybe I would've seen something, anything that would warn me about the storm coming into our life. The kind of storm that not only destroys the properties but also the willpower to live of the surviviors. But I didn't, I foolishly decided to ignore that. Because ignorance is the best way to keep believing that my illusions were real. And yet again, who knew that my ignorance would only add fuel to the fire burning in our hearts. Who knew that a twelve-year-old girl wasn't wise enough to make decisions that would change her life and those around her. Who knew...