Remembering Hope Findlay

Chapter 16 - When Will I Get Out?

The wind went savage around me, my structure rattling like a leaf in the wind. It had gotten stronger, my raven hair constantly being pushed back off my face like I was facing a large wind machine for a photo shoot or something...

"Brilliank darlink... ze pose iz, iz needz some-tink else..." The foreign photographer, Zane, expressed, pulling my arms out into different dramatic poses.

My body had lost a dramatic amount of wieght now, I had been dieting for eighteen months with harsh exercise and taking up ballet four times a week.

Whilst performing at a recital, one of the other girls' father came up to me and asked if I would be interested in modelling for a quite successful fashion magazine. He said, and I qoute; "Vas a vonderful and magnifik body structure, petite zuit, yah. Posture, almost perfect, ze face, ze face is the key, alzo ze shade of zo skin. Ze snoz, perfect. Eyez, a rich, rich chocolat-te. Hair, a pure mane with dark colour... perhapz too dark... can be fixed eazily. Come model for me, yah? Fashion modelling?"

He handed me his business card and walked off.

First my reaction was, 'what kind of freak and pedophile comes up after examining you after a two hour ballet recital...'

Once I got home I examined the card, I had already heard of the magazine, but just to be sure he wasn't some sicko off the street I searched up the site on my browser. After taking about two minutes to load I clicked the 'News' button seeing that the site that had come up was the official site. Sure enough, he wasn't joking and it wasn't a scam.

Later that afternoon I had called him back on the number featured on the professional card. Within two days I had a job, fashion modelling. It took up time, but I was glad - less time for me to laze around and gain weight again.

It was one of my dreams that had come true, I had thought about being a model when I was younger, but once puberty kicked in and I started to blow up like a balloon, I lost that thought.

Back to the photo shoot anyway; I was dressed in a magnificent canary yellow fitting boob tube with slight embroidery that was tucked into a fading blue high-waisted mini skirt that was more like a tulip flower than the 'flare' it was designed to be, but it was still very fashionable. My favourite was the shoes; white platform pumps with a slightly thicker heel, but very high - seven inches. The white shoes brought out the white accessories - the thin belt that was strapped when the shirt and skirt met and my white stud earrings that were shaped like pearls. I wore a simple white chain around my neck that contrasted well with my fairly tanned skin.

My midnight hair had been coloured a light brown, with blonde and platinum streaks running through. Luckily, they were satisfied with my eyes and didn't have to put blue contacts in again. I felt so fake, but I felt like a superstar when I was getting dressed and primped for the shoot.

This time they had kept my makeup light: a white eyeshadow fading out to a light blue, my cheeks a slighter pinker colour. The makeup artist had done a brilliant job on my eyeliner, with an almost invisible white liner under my eye to result in my eyes looking bigger. I had foundation sprinkled over my almost perfect skin and a clear, shiny lip gloss to finish the look.

I was set in front of a plain dark blue screen and the fan blowing a gentle wind over my way, letting my curled hair fly a slight amount. The lights bore into my skin, heating my bare arms and collarbone. The producer of the fashion article was nodding to the way I had been posed.

My left arm had been bent and gently placed on my forehead, my fingers curved onto my spiralled hair. My right arm placed beside my hip, slightly more towards my bum. My body was turned so that my body was almost parallel to the cameras. My right leg was bent with my foot meeting halfway down my left shin. My head was tilted up about forty-five degrees with my eyes closed gracefully and my lips slightly apart.

"Ah yez." An enthusiastic Zane exclaimed when they were satisfied with my placement. The cameras snapped every second, under all the flashes I felt so naked, but yet so beautiful...

I awoke from the flashback to my body shaking even worse than it was when I had drifted off. I wrapped my arms around my waist after my hands retreated to the inside of the sleeves. It must of been at the maximum - one degree Celsius. I limping along still, my legs wide apart as I didn't want to knock the mini log that was in my leg on the other. I couldn't go through anymore pain for today.

The midday glow had passed and by now the dusk eeriness had set in. It was almost silent - the only sounds were the rustle of leaves in the trees and the squelching of the mud underneath my paled feet.

I was so close to the trees I travelled by that one tiny inch to my right and I would crash into them. My right arm was already scraping off the peeling bark.

I wasn't even checking behind myself, not checking for any predators readying to pounce out and bring me to the ground again, I had tried to push that out of my mind, thinking of it would of only sparked even more fear which would make me paranoid and make me use more energy. I was in a kind of sleep mode, just wandering along like a lost cat on the street, no clue where I was headed.

I couldn't keep up like this much longer, the tiny amount of energy that I had built up after that short shut-eye was almost gone.

I was passing an eternity of trees that all echoed the same tune of rustling and imitated each other by all dropping their remaining dead leaves.

I cringed and released a sharp breath through clenched teeth as I felt impact on my leg, the stick being pushed around as I started to walk normally, without thinking. My brain was frozen just like all other areas of my body.

I had stopped in my tracks and was recovering from the pain when I heard it. A low rumbling rising to a higher octave as it got louder. I whipped my head around, expecting to see someone coming to abuse me all over again. I was in luck, there was no one, nothing in sight. I did a three-sixty turn, scanning around the leafy ground. Not one thing. The noise faded out back to a low growl.

"The fuck..." I breathed.

I decided to resume travelling along, perhaps I would find what made the noise, or maybe not, if it meant danger. I had had enough for the rest of my life, but I knew that it was going to be far from that.

I passed many different shapes of trees as I went, them getting sparser and more spaced apart. Could I of finally reached the end of the wood? I have been moving through here for almost a day... I think, unless that nap was more than just a few hours... No, I doubt it. I felt too low on energy when I woke.

The hum came again. Louder this time.

"What is this...?"

I searched all around myself again, ending with the same results.

The hum became a screech... sounding like a bird's claws scratching on a blackboard.