A Drop in the Ocean

I Cant Do This

Ashton's POV:

"Luke get up, we have to leave in 10 minutes!" I said throwing a pillow at him. He groaned and sat up, rubbing his temples, "Shut up, I have a head ache."

"I don't really care, I've already rescheduled this once and I'm not about to do it again. It's your fault for getting wasted."

"You're the one that told me to go!"

"Because I felt bad about you always having to miss everything for me, I never said you had to go out and get drunk!" He groaned again, shooting up from the bed and running to the bathroom. I followed him in and rubbed his back as he emptied the contents of his stomach.

When he finished, he sat back against the wall and looked down at his feet, not meeting my eyes, "I didn't want you to see me like this."

I lifted his chin up with my hand, "Luke get over yourself, it's fine. Just get dressed so we can go, okay?" He nodded and stood up, going back in our room. I went downstairs to wait for him in the living room. Calum was lay'd out on the couch looking at his phone, he looked up at me and sat up.

-

Calum's POV:

Ashton sat on the couch next to me, we sat in silence for a minute before I decided to say something, "I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad. It happens. Why do you all assume I would be mad?"

"I don't know."

"Thank you for getting Luke home, you know he does stupid things when he's drunk and just... thank you." I nodded, biting my tongue, trying not to blurt out what really happened last night. I know Luke isn't going to tell Ashton himself but I can't tell him. At least not now. I want to so desperately tell him how I feel, I want him to feel the same way but I know he loves Luke, not me. This is just the thing that might break them up. I can't tell him not though, maybe after the baby's born, they aren't keeping it anyway so like has obligation to stay with him.

Luke came in a couple minutes later, I helped Ashton up and all I got was a weak smile. He went over and kissed Luke, not even looking back at me. Well that hurt.

As they were leaving Luke looked back and smirked at me evilly before shutting the door. That fucking cocky bastard.

I kicked the coffee table and screamed out in pain, Michael came running in, "What happened?! Who died?!"

"Nothing I just kicked the stupid coffee table," I mumbled.

"So I got out of bed for nothing?" I ignored his question and plopped back down on the couch, Michael came over, "Calum I was kidding, do I need to kiss it to make it better?" He asked in a mocking tone, I ignored him again.

"Are you okay?" He said sitting down next to me.

"No." I replied.

"Then what's wrong?"

"Ashton. That's what's wrong! Luke cheats on him, gets drunk, he does everything wrong and Ashton still goes back to him! I bet if I told him that what Luke did maybe I'll have a chance with him."

"You can't tell him Calum you know-"

"Yes I know, They're having a baby together" I sighed, "That doesn't mean Luke deserves him, I can give Ashton so much more. Why does he keep going back to that bastard?! All he does is hurt him!"

"Why do you want him so bad, you didn't feel like this before so what changed?"

"I don't even know."

-

Ashton's POV:

My hand was shaking and my forehead was sweating. I stared down at the paper in front of me. I sign this and my daughter isn't my daughter anymore. This is what I wanted right so why is it so hard?

I looked up at Brandon and Lisa, they wanted this baby so bad, but what I didn't realize is I did too.

I dropped the pen on the table and stood up, tears streaming down my face, "I'm sorry I just can't do this." And with that I ran out of the room, giving no one time to react.

I ran out of the building as fast as I could , being that I was 7 months pregnant, I just had to get out. I ran until I made it to a dark alley, I was so out of breathe, my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest.

I slid down the brick wall and sobbed. I placed my hand on my bump, something I hadn't done in a long time and just felt my baby kick. It gave me comfort, it made all if my heartache worth it. I could do this. I could run away and raise her on my own, without Luke, with out anyone.

I took my phone out from my pocket and saw about 30 text messages and 16 missed calls, all from Luke. He's probably worrying himself sick right now, I didn't want to hurt him but he'll forget about me one day. The boys can go off and be famous, without having to worry about a baby. They don't need me, they easily find another drummer, I'm doing them a favor by leaving.

-

Okay a lot happened in this chapter, comment what you think!