A Drop in the Ocean

You kids have fun

Ashton's POV:

We've been home for a couple weeks now and not much has changed. Luke and I were on our way the adoption agency since I'm already 6 months pregnant, we can't put it off any longer.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm really nervous, I'm supposed to choose a family I want to give my baby away to. Its going to be one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, I want her to have a good life but how am I supposed to know who's gonna give her that? I don't even know these people and I'm supposed to trust them with my daughter?

Luke hasn't really talked at all today, I know he's upset about what we're doing but we already went over this many times before.

"Luke, are you okay? You haven't really said anything all morning."

"I'm fine." he said without taking his eyes off the road. I didn't try to push to conversation on so I just looked out my window.

We pulled up to the small building and Luke helped me out of the car without saying a word. After we checked in, we were immediately taken back to a small office with two chairs sitting in front of a wooden desk. A women was sitting behind her desk, typing away on her computer. When she saw us, she stood up and smiled warmly at us as she motioned for us to sit down.

"Hello you must be Ashton and Luke, I'm Ms. Duran but you can call me April!" she said as she shook both of our hands.

"I was told that you came here today to talk to me about putting a child up for adoption, I wasn't really given any details about it"

"I'm ...pregnant, and we both agreed that it would be best if we put our baby up for adoption because we aren't ready to be parents." I said and Luke scoffed, "Yeah both."

"That is totally understandable, I think you made the right decision. I promise I will find the perfect family for your baby, now do you want a closed or open adoption." I looked over at Luke but he didn't seem the least bit interested so I guess I was making this decision on my own.

I shrugged, "I guess a closed adoption would be better." I looked over at Luke again and he looked pissed off but didn't say anything.

"Okay, but I am required to tell you that in a closed adoption you are not allowed to see the child after it is given to the new parents and they have the right to not let you see the child ever again. You won't have any contact with the adoptive parents or the baby, are you sure that's what you want?" I nodded with tears rolling down my cheeks. I didn't know that it would be this hard, I mean she's not even born yet and it feels like she's already being taken away from me but that's what I wanted, right?

April came out from behind her desk and gave me a comforting hug and let me cry into her shoulder.

"I know this is really hard but you're doing what is best for your baby and you. Like I said, I promise I will find the perfect family." I nodded. She gave me one last squeeze before handing me a tissue and sitting behind her desk again. Luke grabbed my hand and gave a sympathetic smile, I smiled back wiping the tears from my eyes.

After that she went over all the procedures for after the baby's born, I cried again of course but I felt good about what we were doing. She gave us a book full of families she thought would be a good match. When we got home we looked through the book but non of the families really stood out to me.

-

"What about this one?" Luke said while pointing to the page, I shook my head.

"No it says the dad is away on business a lot." He leaned back against the couch sighing.

"This is hard."

"I know but we have to keep looking, we'll find one."

After looking through many more applications we were about to give hope until I came across the . This family was perfect, they were a couple in their mid thirties and they already had a 3 year old son so she would have at least one sibling. They live in a nice neighborhood, it doesn't say where, and both parents work for an insurance company.

"Their perfect." I said.

"So the Smith family it is then?"

"I guess so." I said sadly. Luke wrapped his arm around me and kissed me on the cheek. "It's gonna be alright. I know I've been a dick about this but now that I think about it, this is the right thing to do."

"I hope, I just don't want her to think we didn't love her..." I trailed.

"Why would you say that?" He asked.

"She'll think that we gave her away because we didn't want her."

"Ashton, stop trying to make the situation worse. You know that's not true. Honestly, I don't think she'll even know that we're her real parents, isn't that why you chose a closed adoption."

"I just thought that it would be easier to pretend like she didn't exist, but something like this is going to be impossible to forget."

He sighed, "Lets not think of that right now. I have a surprise for you that might take it off your mind."

"You know I hate surprises."

"C'mon you'll love this one, I promise." I groaned, "Fine."

"Okay get ready and wear something nice!" He said excitedly, I groaned again before getting up and going to my room. How am I supposed to know what to wear if I don't know where I'm going? I just decided on wearing some black pants and a dress shirt. I came down stairs and Luke was dressed in a Tux and he had a bouquet of red roses. I laughed at how cheesy he was being but it was sweet. I took the roses and thanked him by kissing him softly on the lips.

He grabbed my hand and lead me out the door, "You kids have fun! But not too much fun, your already pregnant." Michael said as we walked to the car, we both laughed.

"Now are you gonna tell me where we're going?" He shook his head smiling as he continued to drive, "I told you, it's a surprise."

"You know you suck."

"You'll want to take that back after you see where I'm taking you."

"We'll see about that."

-

It took about 30 minutes for us to get our destination and Luke still refused to tell me where we were. He made me put on a blind fold he lead away from the car. We stopped and Luke slowly removed the blind fold from my eyes.

What I saw was a small gazebo, decorated with lights, sitting in front of a lake. There was a table sitting in the middle and quiet music playing in the background, it was just absolutely beautiful.

"Luke, did you do this by yourself?"

"Well no, Calum and Michael may have helped me with it..." He scratched his head nervously and I giggled.

"You know I love you so much"

"I love you too, Ashton. I always have." He took my hand in his, "Now let's go eat before our food gets cold."

We finished eating and the food was absolutely amazing. 'All of me' started playing and Luke stood up holding his hand out to me.

"May I have this dance." I nodded and took it. He our bodies were as close as they could get since my bump was in the way. We swayed to the music slowly and I lay'd my head on his shoulder, sang the lyrics quietly in my ear as we danced.

When the song was over we stayed like that for a few moments before I took my head off his shoulder and gazed into his beautiful blue eyes, he leaned in a kissed me on the lips, not like how he usually kisses me, this time it was slow and everything else around me seemed to be going in slow motion. I didn't want this night to end.

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