A New Beginning

It Hurts

I use all my strength to pick myself up and go to my room. I ask my mom to let me be alone. I start crying again.
*Lately it seems like crying has been my daily routine*
Then I do the one thing that I shouldn't have done. I call my crush and ask for a break.
*in the phone*
Crush: Hey, beautiful! Missing me already;)
Me: Umm... listen.... please don't be upset ok?
Crush: Hey! What's wrong? Are you ok?
Me: No. Not really. I know we just started our relationship.... but.... uh....
Crush: But what?
Me: C-can we p-please stay on a b-b-break?
*silence*
Crush: Haha! Nice joke. You actually got me for a moment.
Me: I... uh... I'm not joking. Please.
Crush: But why? What happened? Do you not love me?
Me: I do bu--
Crush:  Then what's the problem?

So I tell him everything. I start with the breakup again-even though he knew it- then I tell him about my mom's phone call and then what she told me when I came home.

Me: I don't know what to do? What not to do?
Crush: For now you just relax and go to sleep. We'll talk more tomorrow.
Me: Ok... bye, love you!
Crush: Bye, love!

Of course he wouldn't let me go. He loves me, ok!
       Somehow I felt a bit relaxed after talking to him. I put my phone aside and go to bed. Tears still rolling down the side of my face, I force myself to sleep.
I don't go to school the next day. I can't. My boyfriend came home around 3:30pm after he was done with school. I apologize to him about wanting to have a break. He says it's ok and pulls me into a tight hug. Then after I calm down he asks me....

Crush: Do you want to go to the hospital and meet you ex?

At that moment I felt like someone threw a rock at me. A rock of guilt. I can't believe I was so selfish. I wanted a break with him just for my sake, I didn't even think about what he would feel. But still he didn't give up on me. This I knew is true love.

Me: Actually.... yes....
Crush: Ok! Your mom must still be in the hospital right?
Me: Uhh... yeah.
Crush: Ok then, lets go.
Me: Ok...
*he drives us to the hospital*
Me: My mom's office is on the third floor.
Crush: Ok.
*We take the elevator*

While we were walking towards my mom's office from the elevator , I see a room with it's door slightly open. But what caught me off guard was not that the door was open to a surgery room; it was the person inside the room, on a stretcher, connected to many wires, struggling for his life.
Yes, he was there. Lying down on a stretcher helplessly, with a pale and thin face. Machines beeping in the room, their wires and pipes connected to him. I fall to my knees. I can't breathe. My vision blurs. I can't feel my body. The only thing I can see, hear or feel is him, his irregular breathing, the beeping of the machines and the cold air around me.
       Someone holds me from the back and lifts me up. I don't need to look back to know who it is. My boyfriend takes holds me and takes me to his bed. ((Ha! Isn't it ironic? My boyfriend holds me to keep me steady and leads my to my ex who dumped me. I know this is a serious moment but I couldn't help myself from adding this :D )) I sit on the edge of the bed. I'm in between my boyfriend and my ex. On the bed, is my ex lying, who's almost dead; and on the other side, stands my boyfriend, who I've just met, just fell in love with, supporting me through my very hard times.
       My mom comes in the room. She looks at me as if I've committed a crime. I th-think that she knows it as well. Now is the time for me to ch-choose.