Crazy In Love

Taking It Slow

We laid there on the hood of his car just kissing for awhile. This time it was him that kissed me first and instead of pulling away I just went with it. His lips were so soft and gentle. I didn't want to stop even though I still didn't know if I loved him or if I just loved the feeling of being loved. Truthfully I do love Colby, it's just at this point i didn't know if I was IN love with him. I'm just terrified of ruining our friendship. I didn't want to lose him if we ever broke up or one of us fell in love with someone else. I just don't think I could handle that. I guess I should just stop over thinking.

Soon I started getting short of breathe and I pulled away. I wasn't sure what to say, things were a little awkward for me now. I always looked at Colby as like my brother but the last few days things had changed.. and well here we were.. making out. I sat up, drew my knees in close to me, drapped my arms around them, and let out a sigh.

"What's wrong?" He said still laying down.

"Nothing, it's just I'm out of breathe. I just need some air." I said hoping he believe me.

"Don't lie. Tell me what is really wrong." He said almost as if he was reading my mind and already knew, but he just wanted to hear me say it.

"I'm just so cluless. Colby, what does this mean? Are we still friends? Or more than that? Why did I kiss you? Better question, why did you kiss me? And are you really in love with me or not?" I said hoping he would have all the answers.

He sat up and looked at me waiting for me to face him. He looked me right in the eyes. "It means that I've been hiding my real feelings from you for about two years now and now I finally have the courage to tell you. Yes, of course we're still friends. Are we more than friends? Now that question is up to you to answer. I don't know why you kisssed me, but I'm glad you did. I kissed you because it felt right and I just couldn't resist you. And yes I am totally and completely in love with you." 

" I don't k.." before I could finish I started crying. He scooted closer and put his arm around me.

"I'm sorry" 

"It's just.. I don't want to ruin what we already have. What if we broke up? Or one of us started falling for someone else." 

"Listen Lexi. How about we just take it slow and see how it goes."

I smiled and wiped the tears from my face. "Okay, let's try it."

A It was only about 11:30 so we agreed I to go back to my place. He drove us back home. We pulled up to my house and went inside. I asked him to wait on on the couch while I went to get some movies. I picked out a stack and walked back into the living room. 

"I hope you like.." I stopped mid sentence realizing he was gone. I heard the microwave going so I set down the movies and walked into the kitchen. He was making popcorn "Aww how sweet you made us popcorn." I joked.

He laughed and slid his arms around my waist. 

"I had no idea you had feelings for me for so long why didn't you tell me?" I said.

"Because I was afraid. Afraid that you wouldn't like me back and like you I was afraid that it would ruin things." He said swaying me back and forth.

The microwave dinged and he poured the popcorn into a bowl. I headed back into the living room and put in one of the movies. He followed and took off his shoes then he sat on the couch. I sat next to him and he put his hand around my waist and pulled me in closer. Against his body. I laid my head on his shoulder and got comfortable. I could feel his abs through his T-shirt and I could feel his heart beating. This all felt so right. We spent the whole day just watching movies and cuddling.