And yes, I'll admit, I am jealous of every minute you spend with him, of every concerned expression you send his way, of every tear shed, of every glance, every touch, and every thought. I want to rip him to pieces and purge him from your mind and from your heart. But I can't.
-Colleen Houck
Cara just got off the phone.
She had both hands massaging her temples.
She had been talking to Jacob in the past 15 minutes.
He was frantically asking her to contact Ara because she wasn't answering her mobile phone.
She was having a splitting headache because of Jacob's panicky attitude.
As if Ara was a pre-schooler!
Which she totally was not!
Jacob had been calling every 30 minutes asking her for updates.
Cara was already feeling like a bad friend for not knowing Ara's whereabouts.
She had been trying to reach her for most of the day, afraid that something bad might have happened to her.
It was after an hour when Ara phoned her back.
Cara: Ara! Thank God! Are you okay? Where the hell are you?!? Jacob has been driving me crazy for the past three hours! Are you okay?
Ara: oh shit! I totally forgot to tell Jacob I was going out of town! Shit I'm so stupid! Oh my! Oh my!
Cara laughed on the other end.
Cara: hey Ara, take a deep breath and relax! You sound like you committed a mortal sin! Jacob isn't even your husband, you know.
Ara stopped to think on the other end.
Ara: oo nga no! Why did I sound so scared?
Cara: because you are crazily in love with him, that's why. Simple answer to a simple question.
Ara: you don't have to remind me everyday okay? Alam ko naman eh! I am trying to control my feelings, you know? And I might be successful this time. With just a couple of months, my feelings will be back to normal. Just the way I used to feel before all this shit happened.
Cara: fine! Keep telling yourself that. As long as it takes for you to believe it.
Ara: you should be supporting me! Am I really your friend?
Cara: oh no! Your friend and Jacob's. That's why I'm not giving up hope that you will both be together in the end.
Ara: why don't you apply that to your own love life.
Ara answered irritatedly.
She was mad because as much as she wanted to deny it, she was still holding on to that 1% chance that with just 2 weeks left, Jacob would miraculously change his mind about his feelings for her.
The worst part was hearing Cara advocate that same belief. It only makes her hold on so much tighter to something that was just a mere possibility.
It was not good for her sanity or her self preservation.
Cara: chill my friend. You know very well I'd rather spend my whole lifetime alone than share it with another human being. Makes life less dramatic and so much easier.
Ara: that's an empty life Cara. You have so much to offer! You're one of the nicest people I know, not to mention the most beautiful! You deserve more than that.
Cara laughed.
Cara: Ara, I didn't say that to fish complements from you. I know myself and I know what I want. Now back to the original topic, where are you and who are you with?
