sail » roman godfrey au

06

Suppy! Super long update (bit of a downer too)! Second season Roman is so dang cute ah! Is it weird that I found it incredibly hot when he smoked with a bloody face?

Don't forget to call me out on mistakes, please.

I don't know if this is weird to do or not but I really appreciate comments so I thank you three :-)

@Raezayn

@dirtb4gb4by

@thedramaticirony

x

"I do believe that you owe me for that overpriced ginger ale."

The somewhat soothing silence was disrupted by rising guilt, especially since she had no way to repay him. It seemed that Roman could sense this, too.

"You can redeem yourself by explaining your apathy." He didn't want to push her too far, but he did eventually expect an answer.

Silence followed, but it was not soothing as it was before.

"Lets walk. It's chilly tonight."

Choosing to steer clear of both the biting outdoor temperature and the upper class areas, they walked through large wooden gates and white door-less apertures in the walls.

"You know what, I'm still cold. Let's drop by my room."

"My friend, told me to never leave a public place with a man unless I intended to marry him."

He laughed, loud.

She frowned, "That was not an attempt to amuse you, Roman."

He smiled, "And where was this sensible advice when we first meet?"

She wasn't as sprightly as he recalled in their few previous encounters, and her response was proof of that. She shrugged.

 x

The desire to not be alone overcame the stiff silence, it encouraged them keep the company of each other.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Roman hummed, remaining in his disoriented wandering thoughts.

"Your father passed away, right?"

It was then that Roman snapped to reality, urging him to glance at her. It wasn't a sore subject as most would believe, but it still caught his attention and held it. The thin jacket he retrieved from his room couldn't ward off the goose bumps that dotted his arms or the shiver that ran down his spine.

"Yes."

"So you understand."

"Yeah--well, not really. It was when I was a boy, about four or five years old. He came into my room and kissed my forehead, and he told me that he was sorry...I didn't understand what he had meant, because he hadn't done anything. You know, burn my grilled cheese or forget to pick me up."

She cracked a small smile at his weak attempt to add levity into their heavy discussion.

"Anyways, he left, I fell asleep. I woke up to a loud noise, and that noise was my father decorating my mothers white wardrobe in red."

Rosalie could visualize a young boy slowly piecing together a horrific scene laid before him, with nothing but cold fingers and confusion guiding him.

Losing someone you love is a strange feeling of heart-wrenching loss and gut-wrenching misery. Losing a parent is exactly that, too, but triple digits times worse. Her mother and father aged and embraced their gradually aging state where trembling hands and poor accuracy with looping a thin string of thread through a pinhole were normal.

Roman wasn't given the opportunity to see the change in his father as she had, and she was tormented over that fact.

Romans father wanted to go. He made the choice to leave Roman all on his own. And a simple apology couldn't redeem that, dead or alive.

When someone chooses to leave you it hurts more than if they were unwilling, because being left behind by choice was far more agonizing.

Roman wondered why his voice hadn't wavered or why there weren't tears in his eyes, because he knew that both things were were supposed to occur. But they didn't. And Rosalie noticed.

"What about you? Lets hear it."

She contemplated a lie, but decided not to cloud his mind with untrue thoughts of her.

"Well...my mother died about two years ago, and a couple months before my eighteenth birthday my father passed away too. I was sent to an orphanage, and I was grateful for that. If i were already eighteen, I would have been homeless, so a couple of months to find a job and earn at least some money was helpful. And after searching for  a couple weeks, I got a job at a small bookstore. My employer became my friend, and he helped me out as much as he could. Mr. Finch was old, so when he died I wasn't entirely surprised. Saddened, but not surprised."

The words came easily to her, she thought about it quite frequently. She wondered if maybe all she needed was someone willing to listen, someone to share the crowded contents of her mind with.

"It must have have been hard, being surrounded by so much death." It was true, with so much death it was difficult. Death was an inevitable event that no one could out run or out smart. It was a valid fear that no one could escape. But along the road to darkness, there is always light. Even if you're not aware of it's purpose of intention.

That thought alone graced a smile onto her lips.

"When I was sixteen, my older sister got kicked out because she got pregnant. My parents didn't want to, but they were struggling as it was...and with another mouth to feed we would have been homeless. So she went to live with the father of the child and didn't speak to us for several months. It broke my parents' heart. I could tell. She was the firstborn, so she was the one that they would have sent off to college. She was golden."

She often imagined her sister heavy and glowing with a baby, or similarly slender and glowing with a child in her arms.

"My parents finally decided to ask around for how my sister was, but they were only informed that she had left. She moved to Florida, her boyfriend had some family up there."

"Is that why you're here? You're hoping to find her when we get there?"

She nodded, quickly brushing off tears of anxiety-infested hope gliding down her cheeks and dropping onto her trembling lips.

"I'll help you, Rosie. When we get there, I have a meeting, but when I'm not there, I'll help you. I promise."

With a heart heavy with emotion, Rosalie tugged Roman to her.