Ask Me How I Know

I'm Tired

PLEASE! IF YOUR TRIGGERED BY SELF HARM PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

Tris's POV

I stand up from the floor and open the cabinet under the sink for wipes for my running mascara. My eyes land on the razor blades Chris uses for making her ripped jeans. I've heard stories about people "cutting" buy never thought to do it. I've heard it takes the pain, even if just its just for a little bit.
I take out one of the blades and remove my jeans, and down on the floor with tears running down my face again.
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Christina's POV

I knock on the bathroom door, figuring Tris has been in the bathroom for far too long. Maybe she's sick. No response. I try opening the door to find that the door is locked. My chest tenses due to anxiety.
I take my phone out and and call her, only to have her phone start ringing on the couch. I dial Four's number to have it go to voicemail. Finally, Zeke answers.
"Whats up," he says.
"Tris has been in the bathroom for like half and hour now and isn't responding to anything. I trued getting ahold of Four, but he didn't answer," I say in panic.
"Okay, I'll be right there."
×××××××××
I open the door for Zeke and point to the bathroom. He knocks loudly, once again no answer. He takes a few steps back from the door before charging towards it with his shoulder first. The door flies open.
He runs in and drops down to his knees. I gasp in shock as I see her sitting against the wall with blood running from the deep cuts on her thighs. He pulls her to him, grabbing a towel and putting pressure on the wounds.
"Go to the control room. He got called in," he says, throwing me keys to the control room.
××××××××
Tris's POV

"Tris," a deep voice says. I pry my eyes open. Zeke looks down at me. I try sitting up from having my head on his lap, but he keeps me down. "Don't get up. Your still bleeding a little bit," he says.
"I-I didn't know it was going to be this bad," I say, my voice raspy from crying so much.
"What?"
"The cutting. I tried wanted to see if it took the pain away." He blinks tears away. The door opens wider and Christina comes in with Tobias. He rushes in and drops down next to me.
"Lift her head gently," Zeke instructs him. He does that and Zeke stands. Tobias takes his place. "I'll cover the rest of your shift. Call if you need anything," he tells him. Tobias nods and puts pressure on my cuts. Chris follows Zeke out of the apartment.
"I'm sorry," I say, tears running down my face. He wipes them away. "It hurt too much."
"Its okay," he says, standing with me in his arms and carries me to my room. He grabs a wash clothes, soaking it in warm water and presses it to one of the cuts. I place my hand atop of his by instinct.
"Sorry," I say, withdrawing my hand. "Déjà ju," I say. He finishes and puts it back in the bathroom. He sits down next to me.
"You can't do that again," he says.
"I just wanted the pain to stop. I didnt want to- to end-"
"I know," he says, kissing my forehead. "I can't loose you Tris. I love you too much. You die, I die." My eyes lock with his.
"Don't say that," I tell him.
"It's the truth. I'm your family now. We go down together," he says. I cuddle into his side, keeping my cut leg in the same position.
"I'm tired."
"Stay awake for a little longer, love. I need to know your okay. We didn't take you to the infirmary, because you didn't go deep enough to kill yourself, but I'm not taking the change," he says.
"Entertain me then." He smiles, looking into my eyes.
"You know how I felt when I first seen you?" I shake my head. "I was amazed by you. You jumped first, even I hadn't of done that. And I thought you were the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. For a second, I was actually confused cause I've never been like that. Over time the attraction turns into a crush. Zeke wouldn't stop teasing me cause he somehow knew. When you kissed me back that day on the rock, my whole world changed. I knew you were now all I cared about and I would go to ends of the Earth to protect you. I knew I loved you."
I press my lips against his. Pulling back, I find it even harder to keep my eyes open. "I can't keep them open." He chuckles.
"You can go ahead of sleep now. I'll wake you in an hour. I love you." And maybe I would say it back, but I'm too far gone.

AN: Another delay and you guys probably aren't even surprised. I've just been putting so much effort into school work and my story Momma Always Told Me. Please comment and share! Be brave 🔪🔪🔪-Vaeh