Not a Grocer {Thilbo Bagginshield Fanfic}

The Trickery of a Hobbit

Bilbo awoke to a figure moving out of the door. He saw that he was in Thorin's bed and figured the body must be Thorin. The hobbit looked at his pocket watch that sat on the table next to him. 3 in the morning? What was Thorin doing this early getting out of bed? He dragged himself out of bed to follow the dwarf quietly.

Thorin made his way down the corridor and turned into a room. He turned to see if anyone was following, but Bilbo hid before he was seen. Thorin entered the room and didn't shut the door, luckily for Bilbo. The hobbit stood with his shoulder to the doorpost and watch his love look for something intently. He watched as the dwarf opened a box, picked something up, scowled, and placed it back in its box. The dwarf then made his way to another box, picking up another item and placing it in his pocket. "Perfect." he said.

Bilbo was curious as to what Thorin was doing and said, "What are you doing?"

Poor Thorin was scared half to death when he heard Bilbo's voice. He turned around so quickly that he knocked over the box on the table. He quickly regained his balance and ran his fingers through his hair. "What are you doing here?" he questioned, nearly breathless with fright.

"I felt you get out of bed, and I wanted to know where you went. Your arms were around me and when I didn't feel them anymore, I knew you were gone."
was the hobbit's response.

The future King swallowed and said "I see. Well, I just came to my parents' bedroom. Being in here makes me feel closer to them."

Bilbo walked in and looked around. "It is very nice."

"Thank you." Thorin said as he walked towards Bilbo. "Now, would you care to go back to sleep, burglar?" He put his elbow out for Mr. Baggins, as if go escort him.

Bilbo took his arm and walked out the door. "Don't mind if I do."

Soon, Bilbo was fast asleep, but Thorin was wide awake. Today was the day. He had already spoken to Fili and Kili and the ceremony would be done by Balin. He just counted on the hobbit saying yes to his request to marry him. Thorin could barely sleep after that. Later in the morning, around 10, Kili and Fili almost knocked down the door trying to speak to Thorin.

"Uncle Thorin! Uncle Thorin! Smaug is dead!" they chanted together until their uncle woke up.

Thorin was elated. Finally, the treasure was his. Finally, the Mountain was his. He was King. The dwarf made his way to the throne room with his hobbit and all the dwarves were waiting there. They cheered as Thorin entered the room. The leader made his way to take the Arkenstone out of his bag and put it in its space on the throne. He then sat on the throne and said, "Our enemy, the dreadful dragon Smaug, has perished! He took my place as the King under the Mountain and today, I take it back! Hail your new King under the Mountain!"

Everyone cheered for Thorin, but no one cheered louder than Bilbo. His King was now officially the King. However, the celebration was interrupted by Fili and Kili shouting, "Um, Uncle? There is an army at the Gate. What do we do?"

Thorin stood and walked out the door. He saw a huge army standing outside the Gate, watching them. Bilbo followed close behind as the King opened the Gate slightly. "Who are you, and what business do you have with Thorin Oakenshield, King under the Mountain?" No one answered and the army left. Thorin was utterly confused, but he eventually went back inside to rejoin the celebration of being King.

The celebration lasted all day (and night, at least for Thorin and Bilbo). In fact, it was actually disappointing to wake up the next morning, for such a party was gone. Thorin and Bilbo walked hand in hand to the throne room where the King sat on his throne and his hobbit sat on his lap. Thorin decided this was the time to ask his burglar the question he has pondered over for many a night. "Bilbo? I wanted to ask you something that's very-" Thorin said before he was cut off.

"What are they doing back again?" Bilbo said. Thorin looked and saw the same army that came yesterday had returned, and there were many more men this time. Thorin once again went to greet them, Bilbo standing behind him looking over his shoulder.

"Who are you, and what business do you have with Thorin Oakenshield, King under the Mountain?"

A man in the front came up to the Gate to speak. "I am Bard, and I wish to parley."

Thorin looked suspicious. "Who are you, Bard? And what would you parley?"

Bard bowed and said, "It was by my hand the dragon was slain, but before I killed him, he ruined our town. Being the King of Erebor, you must care for towns in your kingdom. Furthermore, I am in the line of Girion of Dale, and in your hoard of gold is much of my ancestor's gold, stolen by Smaug. I am here also for the Master of Esgaroth who wishes to ask if you care for his people, since they fed you and aided you in your distress. I also am here for the Elvenking, who requires your assistance."

Thorin scoffed. "No man has a claim to the treasure stolen from Smaug. It was stolen from my grandfather, thus it is mine now. And you lie, O Bard Descendent of Girion. The dragon landed in our Mountain and stayed there for 60 years, until he was killed by you. He had no time to steal your ancestor's gold. Also, the Lake-men will get their pay in due time. However, I will give absolutely NOTHING, not even a loaf's worth, under threat of force. We will see you as foes and thieves while you stand armed at my door."

Bard tried to speak again with Thorin, but the King cut him off saying, "I refuse to parley with armed men at my door. And I will not parley at all with the Elvenking, who I remember locked my entire company up in chains and cells. Begone or I will have my party shoot you down!"

Bard replied angrily, "I see how it is. Very well, Oh Thorin Thrain's Son Oakenshield. We will not let you leave or anyone come in until you make a truce or a parley. Come now, friends!Back to camp!"

Bilbo turned to Thorin as they went back inside. "Well, isn't he a fine fellow. Lying to try and earn your aid. I wouldn't give it to him."

"Don't worry, 'Bo. We will have to find a way to test his loyalty to us." Thorin replied, looking at Bilbo.

Bilbo raised his eyebrow at Thorin. "Did you just call me Bo?"

Thorin shrugged. "It fits you. You are mine so I figured I should call you something new."

Bilbo smiled. "I quite like that. Bo. I should come up with one for you as well."

The King looked at him and laughed. "Alright." They sat back down on the throne like they had before the armies had arrived. "How should we test Bard's loyalty? You are a smart hobbit."

The burglar thought for a second. "How about we give him an Arkenstone?" Thorin's face glistened with worry. "Not the real one, but a different gem. And if he comes back for more treasure, we do not trust him."

Thorin cocked his head. "That's a brilliant plan, Bo. You should sneak to him and enact this plan now, so he will be tested tomorrow."

Bilbo immediately hopped off Thorin's lap and spotted a good sized white gem.
"Would this do?"

Thorin rubbed his chin. "I believe it will. Go run to him now and show him this. Then, come back and tell me of what you saw."

Bilbo quickly ran down the Mountain to meet Bard with the fake Arkenstone. He nearly ran into him when he fell. Bard helped him up and said, "What are you here for? I know you are the dwarf's hobbit."

The clever hobbit said, "I believe in your words and I shall give you something that Thorin Oakenshield most desires. And if you sell it, you will become very rich indeed." Bilbo pulled out the white gem. "It is the Arkenstone, and I give it to you, Bard, for had you not killed Smaug, we would have no wealth to share."

Bard took the stone and was absolutely mesmerized. "Thank you, hobbit. Your gift will not go unforgotten. Now, be off! Before your master sees you!"

Bilbo ran back to Thorin. "Well?" Thorin inquired.

Bilbo took his hands. "He has the gem. We shall know what he will do in the morning."

By this time, it was sunset. The company went back to sleep and awaited the test of Bard's loyalty.