Destined To Be With You

Chapter 18

One week. 

It's been one whole week of a silent, unenthusiastic, lifeless Ben. For seven days, she watched him move slowly and speak dully. He wasn't himself and that bothered her so much. She had never seen him look so down and defeated. She didn't like it. 

Liv thought it was his way for slowly distancing himself away from her and their daughter. She was afraid he was pulling away from them. And after seven days of torturing herself with the thought, she couldn't take it anymore so she just burst out saying, "Ben please don't leave. I promise I'll take on more responsibility so you don't have to do so much"

Ben was busy arranging some baby clothes in the drawer when he heard Liv's sudden outburst. He wasn't really paying attention to what was going on around him. He was lost in his own thoughts but once he heard her voice he listened. He heard her but had to replay what she said in his head. And once he did he gave her a questioning look. He saw the worry on her face and wanted so badly to just have her smiling. "What are you talking about?" he replied quietly in a comforting tone.

Although she saw that he genuinely did not know what she was talking about she was still worried. Worried that he was behaving the way he was because he was slowly pulling away from her and their daughter. That thought scared her and caused her breathing to quicken. "I know that you have a lot going on at work and must be difficult having to split your time between taking care of me and the baby and being with Emily. So it's only fair that I do my part and ..."

He noticed the panic in her voice. She sounded desperate and pleading. Though she didn't mention it, she sounded as if she was worried about him leaving. He didn't know where this sudden feeling of abandonment came from. Immediately, he tried to convince her that he wasn't going anywhere. He wanted to reassure her that he wasn't going anywhere. "Liv, are you crazy? You're doing everything already. You're carrying my child. You're feeding her, comforting, keeping her safe. You're doing all of it. I'm just here doing the little things."

Her gaze slowly met his. And she took a few moments to really look him in the eyes. She wanted to make sure he was telling the truth. And after just a short moment, she realized that he wasn't going anywhere. He was going to be apart of their lives just like he promised. But something was still wrong. He wasn't himself and she wanted to know why so she asked, "Then why have you been really different?"

He avoided her gaze and mumbled, "I haven't been different"

"Bullshit" she called out causing him to look back at her in shock.

With wide eyes and a slightly open mouth he walked to where she was and held out his arms to her. He saw that she was getting worked up so he tried to calm her down, "Whoa, calm down."

She refused to let him console her. She wanted to know why he has been acting differently and she wasn't going to let him avoid the question anymore. "No, I know you've been different. Don't even lie to me about that. I know you better than you think." He just stared at her silently. He had nothing to say. So even though she knew that he wasn't going to abandon her or their daughter, she knew the only way to possibly get him to tell her what was wrong was to let him know that she thinks he would leave them, "So if this is your way of telling me that you don't want to be apart of all this then just say so!"

He didn't know what it would take to get her to believe that he was going to be around for everything. All he could give her was his word. And he understood why she was skeptical. His behavior didn't really help his case so now all he could do was tell her. "What are you taking about? I'm right here. I haven't left." He said almost pleadingly.

Maybe pretending to think I’m worried about him abandoning me wasn’t such a good idea, she thought to herself the moment she saw the sadness on his face. He was already dealing with things and she just made it worse by adding to his worries. So, she softened her tone and explained,"No, you haven't left. Not physically, at least. But you're not mentally here. You're so unenthusiastic, lifeless, and quiet."