Into the Fire

Rise Up

"Why don't you fucking believe me?" Ben shouts, following behind me.

"Because you destroyed what trust I had in you! I'm sorry if it's going to take a while to believe what you say to me!" I shout right back at him.

"All I said was you're beautiful!!" Ben backs me up against my wall.

"And you called me ugly,"

"I told you I didn't mean it, you're the most beautiful women in the entire world!" Ben's face comes close to mine.

Our lips so close, if I move an inch they'd touch. All I want is to kiss him, all I want is for us to be okay.

"Why should I believe you!"

"Because I love you! I freaking love you, I mean it with my whole being I love you!" Ben hits my wall out of frustration.

I let out of whimper and bring my arms to myself, he got so angry that I thought he was going to shove me.

"Veronica, I'm sorry I just got angry but I wouldn't do that-"

"You did though! You got so angry at me and you did shove me, you shoved me to the ground and let your precious little slut kick me, you shoved me in the halls for no reason! And I don't know how to not act like myself so I don't piss you off, or so I don't get to be too much for you!" I start yelling at him.

"I'm sorr-"

"This isn't gonna work. I can't be with someone where all I imagine them doing with physically laying their hands on me, I can't be in a relationship where I can't be myself. I'm done giving us a try again, this isn't working at all. I regret everything with you, and I regret trying to make you and I work again," I sigh, tears escaping.

Ben stares at me. "I will never do that to you ever again, nothing I can say or do will change the past. All we have is the future, and I will never ever do what I did to you again," He speaks sternly.

"No Ben, I'm done. D o n e." I look at him.

I can see tears well up in his eyes, but he doesn't let them fall. I sit on my bed and cover my face with my hands, crying. "Please go," I whisper.

"No, I've fucked up, I know. And i know nothing could make this right, but I will for the rest of my life try to make it up to you. I love you, nothing could change that. I love you, as a person, i love your personality, you don't have to be someone else to make me happy, i'm sorry if i make you scared. But i will never, ever physically or emotionally hurt you again. I love you," Ben says softly, as he sits down next to me.

"You should've just stayed single after you cheated on my the first time. You obviously didn't want to be with me if you felt the need to do it again. You yelled at me that you didn't love me at all, so why even try for me? You wasted so long on me, trying to make me happy. You... You hit me" I become angry.

"I know it doesn't make any sense, but I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I only want to be with you, I was not thinking. I thought with my dick and then I became a dick to you. I love you, I've always loved you. Please believe me," Ben tries to places a hand on my cheek. I pull away.

"Ben.. Please, I can't handle anymore of this," I look at him, tears falling.

"Give me one more chance, let me show you how lucky I am to have you, let me show you how big my love is for you, I know i don't deserve it or you, fuck no one deserves you. You're the best there is, I don't regret anything of the good stuff with you, I don't regret falling in love with you. I'm sorry that i knocked you down, but i'm here to help you back up, if you'll let me,"