Love, Love Me Do (Beatles story)

Chapter Two - Drunken George

I moaned loudly as I rubbed my head, an orange coloured light shone through my closed eyelids. I had a terrible head ache, I could still feel the hard wood of Tammy Mahon's hurl coming into contact with the top of my head, my world was spinning, Tammy was so going to pay for this as soon as the pain in my head subsided. 

My head slowly stopped spinning, the throbbing feeling dulling slightly, allowing me to concentrate on my surroundings. I winced as I felt a sharp pain in my back, it felt as though I was laying on pebbles. The orange light shining into my eyes had to be a street lamp, the ache in my back must be because I was actually laying on a pebbled street. But how did I get here? The last thing I remembered was standing in the middle of the local G.A.A pitch, walking away from the game that I was destined to lose - thanks to Tammy and my own brother Gary -, then Tammy had hit me on the top of the head with her hurl and I had fallen and everything had gone black.

Now that I thought about it, hadn't there been like thirty other players, not to to mention the subs and spectators? WHERE THE HELL WAS EVERYONE?!? Why was it so quiet? Wasn't anyone concerned? Was I dead? No, I couldn't be dead, if I was dead I'd no longer be in pain, unless I didn't make it to heaven. What in case I'd been sent to hell?!? Well, if I'm in hell, Tammy Mahon's joining me.

Just as I had myself convinced that I was dead and down under (no, I do not mean Australia, I mean HELL!), I heard girls voices screaming (get your mind out of the gutter) My eyes shot open in fright, springing to my feet in one swift motion, I craned my neck, trying to see where the screaming was coming from, but I couldn't see anything. The screaming drew closer and I could finally make out some of the things they were screaming.

There were shouts of, "MARRY ME, PAUL!!" I always thought the man does the proposing, but I guess this girl is taking charge. Good for her!

"SLEEP WITH ME, JOHN!" I have one word to say on this subject: DESPERATE!!!

"I LOVE YOU, GEORGE!" Aw, a heart felt, screamed at the top of your lungs, declaration of love in a public place. How romantic (note the sarcasm).

"CAN I TOUCH YOUR NOSE, RINGO?" Poor dude, that must be an annoying question to be asked.

"RINGO, HAS YOUR NOSE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT?" ALRIGHT! She deserves a good smacking!

"HERE GEORGIE, GEORGIE, COME WITH ME. I HAVE FOOD!" FOOD! I'm hungry! But still don't throw yourself at him, girl. Have some self respect!

"PAULIE, ARE YOUR EYELASHES REAL?" These girls are obsessed! Bloody stalkers!

"JOHN! I'M PREGNANT WITH YOUR BABY!" Wow. If he wasn't running before, I bet he sure is now!

Loud, thundering footsteps ran past the alley that I was standing in. Wow those boys or men that must have been being chased have a hard life! I feel sorry for them! 

"Oi, Paulie, your standing on my foot!" A mans voice exclaimed in a loud whisper.

"Sorry," another man replied, then I heard some scuffling, before the the men started talking again, I gathered there were four of them because the girls had been shouting four different names and I could clearly hear four different voices.

""Hey John, you ready to be a daddy?" one of the men who I thought was Paul asked.

"It depends, Paulie, you ready to be a hubby?" John taunted back.

"Can I touch your nose, Ringo?" another man, who must be George inquired. I noted that these men all had strong English (Liverpool maybe?) accents, as did the girls who were chasing them earlier. This was Ireland, why were there so many Brits around? Was there some sort of party going on? Why wasn't I invited?