Hold My Hand [boyxboy]

13: A Twist Of Fate

A/N: Guys note that Alfred is not the same Alfred from my other stories. Two different people.

Also #triggerwarning.

I hope you're enjoying the story so far. Honestly this chapter took forever to write and it drained me. If you lost someone dear to you and would like to talk about it do so. I read all the comments.
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The holidays were anything but jolly.

You might think for a second that 'hey it's Raiden, he's depressed, he's making bigger deals out of nothing'. Trust me, I wish that was true this time.

Have you ever felt like you're the reason bad shit is happening? Like you're the reason a lot of damage is being caused? Like you're the reason people are hurting?

Like you're the reason people died?

How can I not feel that way when I know for sure that it happened because I was the target.

As cliché sayings go: death is a dark cloud and whatever. I tell you it's not. Death is not a cloud nor a mythical creature with a scythe gathering souls.

Death is a person. A human that resembles nothing of humanity.

Some people just want to watch the whole world burn to get what they want, no matter how sick what they wanted is.

Christmas. Ha ha.

The winter vacation passed on fairly quickly.

A day at home, 2 days with Thomas.

A day at home, 2 days with Thomas.

I helped him paint a fresh coat on his gazebo.

He helped me solve my math problems.

I helped him fertilise the blue roses.

He helped me with physics.

I sketched many of his flowers.

I don't know what he sketched of me in his head. I didn't know whether to hope he sketched my outer shape or my inner shape.
Both were equally damaged.

I was at a place where dying wasn't worth it anymore, and I didn't know what to do with myself.

My wrists couldn't bare anymore scars, neither could my chest.

When we heard the gunshots, we were terrified to our cores. None of us has been subjected to this type of violence in our whole lives.

At first some of us thought there's "random fireworks at school". We wished that was true.

But then the school's front windows shattered inwardly. And after that kids were running around frantically. Teachers were screaming for everyone to get under their desks, but some students had already started panicking to hear what anyone was saying. To hear anything at all.

Then we saw blood.

Then I saw blood.

For someone who's seen so much violence in his life, you'd think it'd shake me less. That's not true. The pounding in my ears, the erratic breath, the fast heartbeat, the blurry vision, and the rapid movement of my eyes are always there. Always scary and always present.

I don't remember what happened in the hours afterwards, but the police and ambulance sirens were a constant background noise.

News buses were piling up to the area, which might I add is so stupid considering adding more people to a shooting area increases the amount of targets.