Hold My Hand [boyxboy]

11:Breaking The Dam 1

"Can you please shut up for just one minute" Aiden screamed at no one in particular. "We can't figure anything out if everyone is talking at the same effin time."

"I rather no one talk about anything because there's nothing to talk about" I surrendered.

"You bet your ass there is." my mom retorted through the speaker.

Aiden was sitting on the arm of the couch, I was on the floor with my back to the armchair, while Thomas (Yes, believe it or not he was at our house) was standing by the TV.

"We can't help you if you don't tell us everything from start to finish"

"No one can force me to say anything" I argued stubbornly. I did not want to speak of what shaped me to be the shell of a human I am now.

"No one is forcing you to say anything we're asking you so we could help" Aiden was trying hard not to show frustration but his voice said otherwise.

"WELL MAYBE I DON'T NEED HELP,” I screamed and stormed out of the living room straight up to my bedroom and slammed the door behind me.

You'd think 4 years later and moving away would be an opportunity to start fresh. Life doesn't work that way.

After I found the paper stamped to my locker I knew it was from him. It had to be him. I could hear his voice through it. I could smell him and feel his presence with those simple two words.

A part of me wanted to believe that it was a "new student" prank. But I've been a new student for 3 weeks. If anyone wanted to prank me it would have happened before.

That day at work, which was my second day and last day, I only thought about the damn message.

I had to leave work because Luna's father had to do "sudden and urgent" renovations.

Upside of that? I get paid the next 3 months without doing anything. It all sounded like it wasn't real, and I would have been over the moon if I wasn't thinking about my horrible nightmarish past lurking behind my back and peaking on me.

"Go Away Aiden" I said when I heard the knocks on the door.

"It's not Aiden" Thomas said and waited.

I didn't know whether I should let him into my room or not. My room represented me. It was what I was. Beige, colourless, dull. Boring. Undecorated. Lifeless. Cold. Lacking.

I was afraid of Thomas.

He wasn't like other guys.
Blake wasn't like other guys.

He only wanted to be my friend.
Blake only wanted to be my friend.

He wanted to be there for me when I needed him.
Blake wanted to be there for me when I needed him.

Very afraid indeed.

I didn't wanna let anyone into my life, I still stand by that. But I wasn't letting Thomas in.

Thomas was water. Full of life.

I was a dry wall with cracks in it.

Thomas was seeping through.

You can't stop water from reaching its destination. No matter how hard you try or what dams you build, water eventually breaks through.

I wasn't ready for Thomas to break through.

All of my inhibitions seem to wane though, the moment he says my name. He doesn't say my name in words only. I notice it even if he thinks I don't. He says my name in the way he reaches to touch me whenever he lets it slip his mind that I don't tolerate human contact.