Chanyeol x Jennie : What did I do?

Its not your fault

Please Read! It's important!!!

SHINee's Jonghyun committed suicide yesterday, 6:00 pm K. S. T.

Honestly, I was shocked when I was scrolling down on Youtube and watched a video about him. I hoped it was only a joke but it has a lot of videos about that and was confirmed by the police.  To be Honest, I didn't stan their group but I admired each one of them for their talent.

Jonghyun committed suicide because of depression. Depression, something that other people could not understand unless they feel it. Some say that it's only in your head,but no.... It's dangerous, It's deadly.

He felt alone, he was struggling to keep a clean image for the media. He pretended to be fine when in the inside,he was dying. Although I don't know the real story, I knew it was something that really made him feel dead inside.

Now, How do I know what it feels like? Of course I have gone through it. I have gone through days where I was alone, I felt empty, I felt dead. I turned away from God. I turned away from everyone. Every day I woke up seemed living in a nightmare.

I was left alone by my so-called friends. It was worse when the whole classroom treated me as an outcast. Nobody would like to be my partner in Dual Activities, nobody would like to help me when I needed a group. I could only fake a smile and say 'I'm Okay'.

My parents were of no help, of course they wouldn't understand. They would just say to make new friends but it's not easy!

So I started with cutting. Cutting my arms with a blade every time I was treated badly. At first it was a light cut and it didn't scar but was time flew by, I cut even deeper...

Now, people who saw it called me an Emo, a loser. They would say I was stupid to do that without even knowing my story. People were so quick to judge.

But every dark tunnel has a light at the end. Someone from another section messaged me continuously, and I was bothered by it because he would always ask if I was okay.

Eventually, I opened up to him and told him everything. He was there for me, listened to every rant I told him, listened to every complain I had offered.

I was thankful that he loosened up my thoughts on my suicidal mindset. He said that I should live on. Even when life gets hard, just hold on. If I can't, I can just hold to him and he'll guide me.

I learned my lesson that, If he didn't chat with me, I could have been long dead and buried 6ft underground.

Then, My story BTS x Blackpink wouldn't have been published for you. And I wouldn't even get the chance to talk to you guys.

That's why I promised myself not to judge very quickly without knowing the whole story. I got over my depression thanks to him.

And what did I do again? Why did I compare my life with Jonghyun?? Oh wait, I didn't. I just got carried away....

Anyways, I'm always free and if not, I'll always make time for you. You can tell me anything. I'll always be here. So right now, let's hold on to each other and give a fandom hug to everyone who needs it!!