Horror Book Reviews

'Me and You'

       Helluuurrr! This is Pjbunny with another horror book review! Aren't you excited?!

      Title: Me and You

     Author: @cimlove

    Likes: Who doesn't like a ghost story?! What's not to like?! *Takes out a jar of Nutella* Anyone want some?

    This girl named Izzy is recently informed about the death of a teacher on the 10th floor. Rumor has it it's been haunted by him ever since! What happens when her and her friends come face to face with the ghost of 'Mike'? Eep, I think I scared myself...xc

    Dislikes & More About The Story: There are some grammar and spelling mistakes throughout the parts she published. Remember to take time to edit and look over your books people! Or get an editor to help you out if you're not too big on grammar and spelling. I wasn't exactly the perfect writer when I started writing stories. Heck, I'm still not an amazing writer!

     In the beginning, when you first start to read, there's a note that confirms its PG-13. Then there's a list of the characters in her story. I personally thought this was not necessary. You're already going to be writing about your characters, so why put a list of them in the very beginning? Like for example, it says Tiffany is Lizzy's big sister right beside her name in the list. Why can't you just say that in the story?

    Ex: Lizzy sat up in bed and started to text her older sister, Tiffany, on her cell phone.

        Your readers will remember that Tiffany is Lizzy's sister when you first mention it. You can also mention it as your story is progressing.

       Ex: "Here, hold my bag," Lizzy told her big sister, handing her leather purse to Tiffany.

        That was an example. I also thought the intro, which was very short by the way but that's besides the point, was unneeded in your story. It was similar to part of a description that would summarize part of your story.

          So then we get on with the beginning of your story. The beginning is very good, Lizzy waking up and is on her way to school! The horror doesn't start right away, which in my opinion is a little cliche. Unless it really needs to start at the very beginning, avoid doing that people! Climlove likes to write her stories in style! *Puts shades over eyes* Just like me. Jk.

        Also, the story could use a little more detail. At least she didn't do the information dump. But the characters could use a description, like how are they dressed? This isn't very important but at least tell us what they look like. I also see no personality traits surfacing when the story starts. Except for Tiffany being a goody goody two shoes and Lizzy doing her homework in the mornings. So thumbs up for that! But I need a little more please, hopefully more will show as the story progresses.

         I see that you're also doing this:
Ex: Hannah: Hey guuurrl what's up?

      Dana: Nothing, what you doin'?

      The part i just wrote was not included in her story but it was an example. It's not an important thing, but I don't usually go with that type of dialogue. I'd prefer:
     Ex: "Hey guuurrl, what's up?" Hannah chirped.

      "Nothing, what you doin'?" Dana said.

       It just seems more accurate to me, but that doesn't have to change. Although I'd take it into consideration if I were you, no offense. But if you do this type of dialogue your readers can actually know how your characters are saying what they're saying. Are they saying it loudly? Is their voice just a whisper?

        How To Improve: So, either get an editor or try your very best to edit it yourself. Grammar nazis are everywhere these days, you'll be lucky if you don't cross their path....JK people. Practice writing everyday, get inspired. Read other horror books to keep the mood going. Then, detail is a very important thing to add when you write, and the dialogue needs a bit of work. Although you can keep the type of conversations how they already are. It's just a recommendation, don't sweat it. And remember to work on your characters! Personality, looks, we crave it all!!!! Mwhahahahaha!!! *Viciously eats Nutella from jar*

     

     Overall: The horror hasn't started just yet, but i bet you when it comes, you'll be hiding under your bed callin' for your momma!! So stick around with 'Me and You' please. I bet it'll turn out to be a wonderful, scary horror story! Cimlove, I hope you found my review helpful and not offensive in any way! I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your story! I wish you a thousand votes!

         

     A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed this little review here. Oh, and just so you know, nobody gets my Nutella! Hehe. And remember to check out @cimlove please? And please PM us if you want your horror book reviewed! We are now low on requests. If you know someone who wants a review, then speak up please! Thx a ton!
Pj~