Through the Lens

This Is Living

Hailey's POV

The ride back to London was pretty quiet. Louis had given up on trying to make me feel better a few minutes after we left, knowing I just needed silence as I watched the road stretch out in front of us, the headlights lighting up the darkness as we drove. Soft music flowed through the speakers as I tried to sort out all the thoughts in my head, wondering what the hell any of it meant for Harry and I.

It was obvious that he was mad at me and wanted nothing to do with me, but for how long? Was it the kind of anger where he'd cool off and realize how sorry I was and be able to forgive me? Or was it the kind where his best friend completely abandoned him during one of the lowest points in his life and he would decide he needed better friends? I closed my eyes tightly as a tear ran down my cheek and I silently prayed it was the first option.

A soft guitar came through the speakers of the car and Louis immediately reached forward and turned off the stereo, almost looking panicked as he settled back in his seat and avoided my gaze.

"Why'd you turn it off?" I asked as he focused on the road ahead of us.

"Uh, I just thought you could use the quiet." He lied, horribly.

"What was it?" I asked, before it dawned on me and I felt a lump rise in my throat. "It was him, wasn't it?"

He looked nervous, shifting awkwardly in his seat and clearing his throat before he nodded hesitantly.

"It was just one of the songs on the album, he sent them to me and I guess I forgot they were on here. I'll find something else." He said apologetically as he reached over to fiddle with the stereo and I stopped him.

"Why don't you want me to hear it?" I asked, the knot in my stomach clenching as I looked over at him.

"I just know you're upset, I didn't wanna make anything any harder." He shrugged.

"Why would it make it harder?"

"I dunno, maybe hearing his voice. Maybe the lyrics on the album, I just figured we should avoid the subject of him all together." He sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"Why would I be upset by the lyrics on the album?" I asked, unsure if I wanted the answer.

Louis inhaled deeply, biting his lip nervously as he kept his eyes on the road and began to explain.

"Harry's been through a lot. I'm sure you know with this album he really just wanted to be honest, to express himself, and it just so happens that you're the only girl he's ever been in love with. He wrote this album at a time when he was struggling with what was going on between you two, and I'm sure that there are parts of this album that might reflect that."

"Are you telling me that you think songs on his album are about me?" I asked, my throat feeling dry all of a sudden as I swallowed hard in an effort to moisten it.

"Well, I mean I wasn't around when you guys were together, so I can't exactly say for sure. I'm sure there are things on there that only you two know about, that I have no idea of, but there are a few songs that I know he wrote in the midst of it all and I'd say you inspired them, yeah."

I looked over at him, nervously chewing on his bottom lip, obviously trying to answer my questions without saying anything that might be betraying Harry's confidence. It was obvious that they had discussed it, and I was honestly completely torn as to whether or not I really wanted to listen to the album. I knew curiosity would eat me alive, and we still had a while to go until we reached Niall's, so I figured I might at least attempt to listen and if it was too much I'd just turn it off.