You Took It All Away

Chapter 21: Jane

Chapter Tweny One

            Jane: December, 2007

“W-what d-do you m-mean, when do I start?” My voice shook as the words left my mouth in a stutter.

A puzzled look replaced Sebastian’s smile and I couldn’t help but grow confused at his reaction. Did he mean what I thought he meant?

“Why did you think I gave you the book to read over?” he asked with a frown.

I shrugged my shoulders and looked away from his gaze. “I don’t know,” I whispered truthfully.

“Jane,” Sebastian’s voice called, forcing me to look at him.

I turned my eyes to him and forced myself to steady. My fingers shook as I held onto the fork so I quickly settled it down on the table. I let my hands rest on my lap, hoping that he didn’t notice my nervousness. Breathe in, breathe out, I chanted in my mind. Calm, stay calm.

“Don’t you miss it?” he asked, his eyes intently staring into mine.

“Miss what?” I questioned in frustration, trying to understand what in the world he was trying to do.

“School, people, the outside, freedom.”

My eyes widened at his words as they searched frantically on his expression trying to get a sense of where he was leading this conversation to. I couldn’t help but grow angry at his words. Did he think I took pleasure as he took me over and over again? That I could barely voice any of my thoughts, that I was caged here for months? Was he kidding right now?

I didn’t bother answering him, but I did shoot him a look that detailed my feelings.

He frowned visibly, his mouth hardening into a line. He sighed though, before continuing, purposefully ignoring my expression.

“I am sure your mother would have wanted you to graduate from school,” he trailed off with a nod, as if thinking to himself.

“No, my mother would have been really happy to know that I became a personal whore, Sebastian,” I replied sarcastically. I folded my arms across my shoulders and refused to look at him.  It was none of his business what my mother had said before she died. And I sure as hell wasn’t giving him the satisfaction of being right and hitting the jackpot.

“Would you stop saying that?” Sebastian’s irritated tone called out, clearly annoyed by the fact that I haven’t been co-operating at all.

“Why? Because it’s the truth?” I asked grimly. “Because hurts to admit how much of an asshole you are?”

Sebastian didn’t reply, but I saw the anger flash in his eyes when the words left my mouth. Good, I thought to myself. I hoped he’d rot in hell.

There was a moment of silence before he continued, once again choosing to completely toss away what I had said to him.

I think this will be good for you,” Sebastian announced, putting his hands flat on the table. “You need to focus and concentrate on something while doing these treatments. Remember what the doctor said-”

“I know exactly what he said,” I snapped, glaring at him. “I am the one sitting in those sessions, not you.”

And why in the world did he have the right to know everything that was discussed in my psychiatrist’s office? Wasn’t everything confidential?

“Look, I know you don’t like going, but it’s helping you Jane. You’ll get better and school will make the process faster.” I hated when he spoke like this, as if he knew it all. I knew he was somewhat right, but honestly, I felt like I was suffocating. He was the one responsible for all that had happened to me, and now he was acting like an angel? Who did he think he was?