New Beginnings

Month 5

Spending all of June in San Diego with Casey was probably the best thing that could ever happen to us. We would go to the beach or out anywhere and no one would interupt us. His family was way more supportive of teh relatonship than my parents but that didn't matter. His mom Lisa was an angel. She constantly checked on us and it helped that she was an addiction counselor. One night Casey and I went out to dinner with his two brothers Mark and Anders. 

Mark, "Casey I'm glad that you were able to finally come back home, we were starting to think that you would never come back"

Casey, "Well I was all over the place and i didn't know how you guys would feel with me being out here. I know that mom really struggled with all the things that were going on"

Mark, "But look at you now. I heard from your girl that you're heading back on the road soon, are you sure that you're ready for that"

Casey, "Well I think that I need to start making some steps and I honestly feel really good about this. I know that in the past I've gotten annpoyed about honestly being asked to answer all these questions about sobriety and what not, but it's good that I address it"

Andrers, "River, it's been too long. I know that you two haven't always been the best of buddies but I'm liking what I'm seeing here. Mark you should see them. They wake up around 6 in the morning and go to the beach and just walk and meditate, it's like a hipppies love dream"

Me, "What are you talking about? There are some days when I can't even get your brother out of bed to get some coffee, he's a lazy bum"

Anders, "So are you planning on going on tour with him or are you going to set him free?"

Me, "What do you mean set him free? I let Casey do what he pleases"

Casey, "Yeah, we've never been the types to control each other and I wouldn't want that on her or me. We're both grown adults and I'm sure that we can figure something out"

Me, "So do you think that I'm controlling of you Casey?"

Casey, "No, I never stated that"

Me, 'It doesn't matter if you stated it or not, do you honestly believe that I'm controlling you"

Casey, "I swear to god that I don't think that you're controlling me, Can we just move on from this"

Mark, "Well what about the tour, are you going to be coming along to River?"

Me, "Well I have a movie to shoot in North Carolina and I wouldn't want to be the over-bearing girlfriend adn ruin the tour"

Casey, "Babe this is what I don't understand. I don't get why you are so hooked on this idea, I already told you like three f****ng times that you aren't a problem, yet you still choose to ignore me. Fine, come on the tour or don't just stop b*****ng about it"

Me, "Well Casey if that's how you feel then maybe we should just take a break from each other, you're clearly stating one thing but feeling another way about it. I can't be constantly pulled back into negative energy or that's going to cause harm to me"

Casey, "What neagative energy, we were just having a nice and calm dinner. I would appreciate it if you would just continue to eat with us, like just calm down"

Me, "Are you telling me to calm down? Are you really serious right now?"

Casey, "Fine, maybe it is better if you go. Here are my keys"

Casey POV

 With those words I knew that I had probably pushed the line farther than it had to go but River was really starting to annoy me. We were just having a normal dinner and she had to go all ape s***t on me. I knew that it was coming because she always pulled this move eventually in our relationship and I couldn't blame her. I had promised a lot and put a lot into the relationship when we were first together but once I started to get hooked onto drugs and stuff things went downhile. I took her on crazy rides and it changed both of us. She could never truly trust me but I was trying to make things work now. I knew that I would have to be more serious with her about our plans but I just wanted to make sure that I got to speak to my brothers. They hadn't seen me in ages and while we talked over the phone it wasn't the same.

Mark, "So what's really going on between you two? Like is it something serious?"

Me, "Well we've been living together for almost 4 months and I honestly care about her but it's annoying at times, I can definitely see the LA side of her starting to come out"

Mark, "So why do you constantly keep on going back to that? Like why do you put yourself through that all the time"

Me, "Cause I honestly love her and just want to see the best from us. I know that we can date around and try and do other things but if she's not by my side in the highest or lowest of times then it won't mean anything"

Anders, "Listen I know that Mark has always been the more conscious and straight forward type of person but I'm telling you right now that she's meant for you.  I don't care what anyone else has to say, she's been with you when you've gone below rock bottom and you've done the same for her. You two can make it through anything and while she's running from you right now, it's only cause she's scared and she wants to see if you two can make it through this"

Me, "Yeah I know how it goes, and if I were really not into us then I wouldn't be coming back to her. It's like everytime that I try and get back on my feet the one person that I see in my life is her. She's meant to be there for me"