New Beginnings

Week 1

Los Angeles can be a twisted city. when you first come there's an instant feeling of hope and fame. Anyone who knows la sees it from the movies and that's one filled with beaches and movie stars. In reality the possibility of meeting someone famous on an average street is as likely as wining the lottery. Celebs go out of their way not be photographed by fans and usually travel with loads of high security. Thats frustrating on the averts scan because they don't understand why celebs are so pretentious. Now for the celeb they have all the security for safety reasons but it can be a hassle too. Who wants to have to shut down stores just to buy some shoes.

Now while that's not the common case the bugger the fame the bigger the problems. As a child star I had people just flowing in and out of my parents home sending in free clothes. As I got older and my bank a count increased there was no wha anyone could stop me from blowing through money. I knew that I had a lot so it didn't matter how much I spent. My accountant Stephanie Alec used to tell me that it was a bad habit to have so much money and not save it right. I didn't care and now those decisions have somewhat come back to haunt me. I don't nearly have as much money as I used to but thank god for parents. They are always there to make sure that you don't end up homeless on the street.

Now that's enough of the past. My therapist told me that I need to think only about my future so that I can try and make amends and start new bridges of my life. I'm not sure how much that's going to help me right now but there was some good stuff. I do need to start focusing in my work and that means trying to find an agency that will take me in. My old agency Star Management had a huge falling out with me because of my last movie, 'Running from Trouble'. I had begged my agent to pull all the favors that people owed him to get me an audition and then I ended up blowing the interview. Like I assumed that I would make it through round 1 and when that didn't happen I had a huge fAlling out with my agent and trashed the building. My agent was trying to sue me but my mom used all her charm to get a private settlement. So now I had somewhat been blacklisted from town but the one good thing was that I had a fresh slate in my mind.

Going to agency after agency a week after completing rehab may not have been the best idea because it really stressed my sobriety. Dealing with annoying assistants and rejection after rejection was starting to really annoy me. My brother Allister could see that I was getting frustrated so we went for a lunch break to talk.

Allister, "River you need to slow down. I know that you've been pushing for an agent but people need to know that you are on stable ground"

Me, "I am stable. Have you not seen me traveling all over LA trying to find an agent. That sounds pretty determined if you ask me"

Allister, "but it's not like this is your first time entering and completing rehab. People don't think that you have a good track record and until some time past that's ny going to change"

Me, "that's fucking ridiculous. Like I know that I have a mixy past but people need to move on already. I don't understand how I'm supposed to make a living if no one wants to give me the time of day"

Allister, "River it's not like your entitled to anything. You basically screwed over anyone that trusted or wanted to help you so it's like we are starting over. I can call Ronnie and see what he has to say but I wouldn't count on any good news right now"

Me, "Allister you are supposed to be my brother and support me. Not drown me in some deep shot. Look this is the reason that I was drinking so much"

Allister, "when you talk like that it makes go crazy. Like you're to vulnerable to be speaking like that. It's not healthy and you're just not ready to start acting again"

Me, "fine if you want me to take a break then I will but when do you think yay I'm going to be stable enough to actually start working, parole officer"