I was sitting in my room, on the computer when my sister came in my room. It was after school, and as soon as I saw the way she was dressed up, I knew she wanted me to go on another one of their dates. I would've shot myself in the head right then if I had a gun next to me.
I thought about telling her I wouldn't go on their dates anymore, but she did help me get clothes, and she made me feel beautiful for the first time ever. I owed her. I didn't wait for her to ask me if I would go, I just blurted out, "What time, and where?"
She smiled brightly, and gave a nervous laugh. She ran over to me and gave me a bone crushing hug, "I owe you, like big time little sister."
"Alright, alright," I said pushing her off, "Give me the details." I flashed her a quick forced smile. I prayed she didn't notice the lack of enthusiasm in my voice.
"Okay, first we're going to go bowling, then grab some dinner, but we'll probably just stop by Burger King or something, so you don't have to get all dressed up. He's picking us up in 15 minutes, so get ready." She gave me a little smile.
"And Jamie," She said.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks." She left, and I collapsed on my bed, I felt so guilty and mad at myself I just wanted to cry. I like her boyfriend and here she is, being so nice to me, I am the worst sister ever. But there was no taking back the kiss, and there was no way to stop myself for having feelings for Manny, so I just promised myself I would NOT be left alone with Manny, and I would avoid his big chocolate brown eyes, and I wouldn't stare at his perfect lips, and his tanned arms, and his firm butt....NO! Stop. No thinking about Manny.
I got up and threw off my black tank top, and sweat pants. I grabbed my purple Volcom v-neck, and my black skinny jeans, I slipped on my checkered Vans and ran a brush threw my hair, I grabbed my phone and left, just as I was leaving my room, I heard the honk of a car, and prepared myself to see Manny again, after our kiss today.
I put on a brave face and called out to Jenna, telling her Manny was here. I heard her squeal and another wave of guilt hit me.
I squared my shoulders up, and stuck my chin out. I opened the front door and walked towards Manny's shiny red Lexus. Wow, he had a beautiful car.
I opened the back door and slid in, Manny didn't turn around or say anything to me, and I was happy, because I would've done something stupid, like say how fucking hot he looked, which would have been the total opposite effect I want to have on him. I want him to think I'm completely over him. I saw him open his mouth like he was going to say something.
"You don't have to say anything, you act like I'm not here and I'll do the same. I get it Manny, you don't like me. I'm a big girl, I can handle rejection."
I waited for his response, but he didn't say anything, I sank lower in the seat and closed my eyes. But when I did all I saw was Manny's face, so I quickly opened them. Then I saw a dark figure come towards the window and Jenna opened the door, she looked so happy, happier than she usually looks. I stared out the window because I just didn't want to look at them two right now.
I heard the pop of a kiss and closed my eyes, then I heard another pop, and squeezed my eyes tighter. I just wanted to scream in frustration. I had a million emotions running through me, jealousy, anger, guilt, and they all centered around Manny. I wanted my sister to be happy, but I wanted to be happy to. I guess it doesn't really matter though, Manny chose Jenna.
When I felt the car move I opened my eyes and I saw Manny looking at me through the mirror, as much as I wanted to look away, I just couldn't. I looked in his eyes, just as he did mine, he looked back down at the road, and I cursed myself for being weak. Looking in his eyes was not safe.
