a daydream away // moey fanfiction

26

“Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to make can sometimes be the most painful.” 

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(Meghan's POV.)

As his grip on my hand tightened a bit, I was searching for something else to say. At the same time I was searching his eyes in an effort to distinguish the emotion that laid inside of them. Was it understanding? I couldn't tell. 

"What are you thinking about." I said, my voice lacked the quizzical tone that I had meant for it to have. 

"I think you know." He breathed, letting his breath fan out across my face. I couldn't help but smile. I was genuinely smiling. We stood there for what was probably ages, just staring into each others eyes.

This situation reminded me so much of when we were at Joey's apartment. It finally dawned on me that even though we were doing the exact same thing back then, I felt so different right now. Before, I was so lost. I had barely spoken to him and had no idea what I was going to do when he pulled that door open. I ended up getting so infuriated with him. As much as I wanted to take back those harsh words, I couldn't. Who knows, maybe "everything happens for a reason" applied to that, too. 

After a few minutes of silence, Joey took my hand off his chest and wrapped this fingers around mine. It felt so comforting, so new. Of course, I've held hands with people in my life before, but the way he was holding it was different. He was so gentle, and so careful as he ran his thumb across my skin again. 

"I'm sorry." We both said quickly, at the exact same time. My eyes widened in surprise at how in sync our words sounded. 

"You don't have to apologize." He started, "you didn't do anything wrong." 

"Of course I did something wrong." I scoffed, trying to keep my voice light at the same time. 

"No you didn-"

"Yes I did! I shouldn't have reacted the way I did." I knew he knew what I meant when I saw his gaze soften. If you wouldn't have been such a cry baby this whole thing wouldn't have happened.

The voice in my head returned, and my eyes suddenly peered down at the ground. I haven't had such, controlling, voices in my head for longer than I could remember. They used to tear me down every chance they got, making sure I felt guilty with every decision. I felt the pain in my chest return, as I thought about how badly it affected me. If it started happening as frequently as it did, I wouldn't know what to do. It used to drive me insane. 

"Yes, you should have." He said, closing his eyes. I could tell he was getting a little frustrated with me, but I wanted to stand my ground. 

"I'm the one who shouldn't have-"

We were both interrupted by a blinding light that was growing brighter as it made its way up to us. The car immediately came to a halt and I could feel my breath hitch in my throat. My eyes screwed shut as I heard David's voice echo through my ears.

I also heard the car door slam shut with such extreme force that I was surprised it didn't bust right off its hinges. Immediately Joey released my hand, and I let it fall limp at my side. 

I didn't want to open my eyes, I wanted to pretend this was I dream. I still had so much to say to Joey, and knowing David he was going to have me out of here in seconds. I wasn't ready to leave him again.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" David's voice boomed. His shoes crunched on the loose asphalt as he made his way over to me. I had to open my eyes.