messages//lams ✔️

chapter 13//dont let alex watch titanic

homoshreksual: you guys bring the popcorn

turtleboi: we got it

justyouwait: we're on our way up

//alex pov

I had only known Peggy for about a week or so, but she had quickly become the loudest person I have ever met. Keep in mind I've lived with Lafayette.

Maria and John were probably the only people who could contain her energy. I don't think I heard a word of whatever movie was on because of her constant gossiping.

I didn't really have a problem with it. I was a pretty mouthy person myself, but my god. Halfway through the second movie Maria used just about every method to shut her up. She finally accomplished her mission by gingerly kissing her, leaving Peggy in a daze.

"So what movie even is this?" I asked John, who was petting my head affectionately.

There was silence between us for a moment where we just stared at each other. Coming back to reality, he retracted his hand suddenly, causing me to flinch.

"T-Titanic," he responded.

I nodded and leaned back into him to show that it was alright that he was making loving contact with me. I could tell he was hesitant, but he started to pet me again.

It has been a while since I wasn't working on a weekend and I actually began to doze off. I think the many sleepless nights were beginning to catch up to me.

Who knows how long I was asleep when John shook me awake. I sat up groggily, trying to process where I was.

Looking around the room, the girls were cuddling on the couch and I was in John's lap. The same movie was on, or at least it seemed like the same movie.

"It's the best part. I couldn't let you miss it," he explained.

I groaned, but I began to actually pay attention.

It was obvious that the movie was about the Titanic sinking, but the love story was rather intriguing. Though, I had no other story to compare it too. The only other love story I knew was the tale of my mother and father, but that ended in disaster.

As soon as the iceberg hit, I knew one of them was going to die in some way.

Only, I didn't think that it would shake me so much.

I didn't even notice the tears staining my cheeks when Rose was holding onto Jack. The shaking when Jack drowned came as an even bigger surprise.

//\\

Over the roaring wind, you couldn't even hear your own thoughts, let alone the voice of anyone else. The patter of the rain on every surface occupied my attention. I didn't notice the tragedy happening right in front of my face.

The raging floods had almost sunk whatever my brother and I had been surviving on. It was probably a roof torn off of a house or building.

James and I had huddled together for both warmth and safety. The water was inching towards our toes and we both knew we would soon be submerged.

It came sooner than we thought, however, and we were clinging onto that surface, fighting for our lives.

My wet fingers were slipping, threatening to come loose and send me sinking towards the ground. I glanced over to James, who was having a harder time hanging on.

One hand slipped, then the other followed, sending James into the forceful waves. I swam over to him, careful to stay near the surface.

I aimlessly groped underwater, looking for a hand or any body part, but I came up short every time. I went a little further out, but stayed within arm-length of the surface.

I prepared myself for a sting and plunged underwater and searched for my brother.

The rest of the memory was a blur. I eventually found his limp body, sinking, and attempted to carry him up. I wasn't strong enough.

Our hands lost contact, and he slowly fell. I had no idea if he was already dead when I found him, or if it was the slip of my hand that made him meet an early doom.

Either way, I couldn't help but blame myself for his causality.

//\\

I opened my eyes to witness Maria, John, and Peggy all in a panic around me. John was on the phone with somebody and Maria and Peggy were sitting by me, rocking me back and forth.

"John! He's awake!" Maria exclaimed.

I sat up, still trying to regain consciousness and memories from before.

John threw down the phone and sprinted over to be at my side.

"Alex, are you okay?!"

I shakily nodded, trying to wipe away the evident tears.

"What happened? You were shaking, a-and crying and shouting. It really scared us," he stammered.

I stared at Peggy and Maria, whose eyes were wide open with panic. They really were afraid for me.

"I-I don't want to say," I answered, not wanting to bring back any more horrifying memories.

"Alex, please tell me. I want to help you. We want to help you."

The girls nodded in response.

"I'm a psychiatric major, so I'm open to talking any time," Maria stated.

I shook my head.

"I-I can't."

I looked into John's sad eyes. I almost felt guilty for not sharing anything with him.

a/n: whoop another chapter, which isn't the normal storm chapter (like i said, i don't do normal storm chapters)
either way, thanks for bearing with my awful, nonexistent update schedule
~meghan