Particles | Chris O'Neill

>ten<

I LIIIIIIVE yay I was so sick for so long but now I'm back & hopefully I can get back on track with my story! This is a kind of short chapter, but I wanted something here so y'all know I'm not dead lmao.

Y/N's POV

As soon as the game calls "fire," he steps forward and kisses me. It's a short kiss; over before it starts. But when he steps back, I'm breathless, as if we've been kissing for hours. 

"I'm... I'm sorry," he says, stepping back to his original place. Does he regret kissing me? Do I have bad breath? What's the catch here? 

"It's- uh... 's'okay," I say, not knowing what else to say. 

"I should go," he says. I don't know whether to stop him or let him go.

"Are you okay?" I ask, my voice sounding smaller than I'd like.

"Did I just fuck everything up?" He asks, picking up his sweatshirt.

"What?" I ask, surprised he'd think that.

"Did I? I don't want to fuck up us being friends. I just really like you so I thought I'd kiss you but clearly I should have waited and-" I cut him off by walking over to him and planting my lips on his again. Another quick kiss, but this one is followed by a comfortable silence rather than a breathy, awkward one.

I don't know what made me do it. I guess the sudden boost of confidence and the surge of affection triggered by him saying he likes me. Whatever it was, I'm glad. 

"I really like you too," I say. 

"Can I kiss you again?" He asks. I nod and look up at him through my lashes. He leans down and kisses me. This kiss is longer. Made up of a bunch of tiny kisses. I wrap my arms around his neck, and his end up around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I'm not sure when it happens, but at some point our mouths open lazily, fitting together perfectly every time. Devin never kissed me like this. No one has. I'm surprised I'm not making a complete fool of myself. He reaches up and touches my cheek gently, and I lean into it. He pulls away and looks into my eyes.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he says. I feel a pinch behind my eyes. I blink them away. I don't know whether to thank him or deny it, so I just press my lips against his again. 

"I'm sorry I kissed Ryan," I say when I pull away. You've really fucking done it now, I think to myself after I've said it. Why the fuck would I bring that up? Thankfully, he just chuckles in response.

"It's okay. He looked pretty sexy in that zombie costume, I probably would have kissed him too if I had the chance." I burst into laughter. He rubs my back and hugs me tight against him. 

"You're such a fucking Melvin," I say, nuzzling my face into his chest gently, mentally noting how good he smells. 

"Yeah, but... yeah, you're right." I laugh at his response, which causes him to squeeze me tighter. We stay like this for a while before we're interrupted by Chris's phone ringing. 

"I kinda don't want to answer," he says. Still, he takes it out of his back pocket and looks at the screen. "It's Ryan. I'll be right back." He steps away, going into the bathroom. I switch my TV to Netflix and queue up Bojack Horseman. I watch a few minutes of an episode, though I'm only halfway paying attention. My fingertips are running slowly across my lips, which are still tingling from being against his. I smile to myself, praying that it's not God playing some sick prank on me. After a while, Chris comes back into the living room and sits down next to me. 

"What did Rybo want?" I ask. It dawns on me that I've kissed two guys in the past 24 hours; one of whom I kissed while very drunk. I blush absentmindedly. 

"He just wanted to know if I wanted to get dinner with him and the boys tomorrow night. Do you wanna go too?" I think about sitting at the same table with both of them, and the thought becomes too overwhelming. I shake my head.

"No, thanks, I promised my friend from back home I'd FaceTime her tomorrow. With her, if she schedules a date for a FaceTime session, it'll usually last, like, 5 hours." 

"Oh, okay. Well, in that case..." he puts his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him on the sofa. I tense up, my shoulders locking in place. I pray that he doesn't notice. Physical contact like this isn't something I associate with being good, I suppose. "We should spend as much time together as we can now." He punctuates his sentence with a kiss on my cheek, sending my stomach into a frenzy of butterflies. 

Chris's POV

I don't know how I'm so confident all of a sudden. She's made me so nervous in the past few days. I guess finally kissing her has given me the boost I needed. I kiss her cheek, and she giggles. It's probably the cutest sound I've ever heard. We watch a few episodes of Bojack before I leave. She walks me to the door, holding my hand. 

"So," I say, standing in the doorframe. "This was really fun." I wrap her in a hug, and I feel her press her cheek to my chest.

"Really fun," she replies. I consider kissing her again, but I don't want to take things too fast. 

"Can I take you out on a date this weekend?" For some reason, I'm nervous to know the answer. I'm pretty sure she'll say yes, but some part of me hopes she doesn't think I'm too forward. I think about if that asshole Devin ever asked her out like this. She was pretty tense on the couch earlier. Like she hadn't been held like that before. 

"Yeah, I think that'd be great," she replies. I reach down and take her hand in mine, kissing it gently. She blushes bright red, making me chuckle.

"Can I... uh... can I kiss you goodbye?" She looks down at her feet, a grin on her face.

"Sure," she says. I lean down and leave a quick kiss on her lips.

"I'll see you Monday, okay?" I say with my forehead against hers. 

"Okay," she replies, her voice barely above a whisper. 

Hope y'all liked this chapter!!! 

So full disclosure, I came across a tumblr account that reblogs gay porn and tags what boys out of the oneyplays/supermega boys they look like. i was shaken to my very core. they also made an audio of ryan and matt making sexual noises from their videos and put squishy noises over it and i was very uncomfortable but also slightly into it what is going on with me okay bye