Particles | Chris O'Neill

>nine<

Y/n's POV

I'm kissing him. I'm kissing Ryan. This isn't right, I shouldn't be doing this. In my drunken stupor, however, I've found that my lips have become magnets. Ryan's have too, otherwise I'd be able to keep mine away from his long enough to tell him I should leave. 

His hand creeps up my waist, and before I know it, he's wrapped his arm around my back.

"Get a room!" Matt yells from across the room. Thankfully, this is enough to make me pull away. 

"Oh, shit. Ryan, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be doing this." I scoot back so my back is against the arm of the couch. He doesn't make any attempt to kiss me again, which I appreciate.

"I'm sorry, y/n... I thought..." He looks down as if he thinks I'm mad at him. I put my hand under his chin and lightly scratch his beard. 

"It's okay. I'm not mad, I'm just..." Before I can finish my sentence, I feel my mouth water and my stomach jump. "Gotta blast," I call out to Ryan as I run to the bathroom. The toilet below me is filled with the same color as the drinks I kept downing. I lean against the cool tile of the dark bathroom wall, wishing I was in my own apartment, far away from boys and alcohol. 

"Wooaaaahhhh," I hear Ding Dong's voice over the loud music of the party. He closes the bathroom door and kneels down beside me. "You alright there, friend?" He's apparently managed to stay sober. He pushes the hair that has escaped my braid behind my ear.

"I'm sorry, Dingus," I whine into his ear. He just laughs at me.

"Don't apologize, y/n. It's a party. The only reason I'm not shitfaced is because I'm the DD tonight for Julian. Luckily he's not that drunk either." He grabs my arm and helps me to my feet. "Let's get you home, okay?" I nod sadly.

"That's true, you are the Ding Dong." He chuckles at my comment, and I laugh weakly at my failed attempt at a joke. We weave through the party and grab Julian, who has retreated to the empty kitchen. He's hunched over his phone, swivelling around in a barstool. Once we've left the building, we get into an Uber and head to my place. 

"My car! I forgot my car! She'll be so sad without me tonight!" I say, gesturing to the house, which is shrinking behind the car as it drives away. 

"It's okay, y/n, Arin said you could leave it there." Julian says, patting my knee.

"NOOOO SUSAN NEEDS ME." I demand, making myself laugh. They both laugh as well, though I don't know why.

"Susan?" DD chokes out.

"Nah that ain't her name. I don't know why I said that." The world starts spinning around me again, and I grip DD's arm. I lay my head on his shoulder for the remainder of the ride home. 

Once they've gotten me to my apartment, they give me a glass of water and some Advil. While I'm in the shower, they put out some pajamas for me. 

Ding Dong sits on the bed next to me while Julian sets up a place for himself on the couch. He's insisted on spending the night to make sure I'm okay. Secretly I think he's just more drunk than he's letting on and he wants to sleep. 

"I kissed Ryan, Dingus." I say, running a hand down my face. 

"I know. I saw." I gasp, realizing how many people could have seen.

"You did too?? I was hoping Matt was the only one." 

"I mean, the room was pretty dark and pretty loud, so I don't think anyone else saw. Definitely not anyone else from the office- they were doing Jello shots off of Danny's stomach right before I saw you and Ryan.