The Outsiders: Before My Time Sequel | Sodapop

The Answer

"Soda..." was all I could muster out. He was looking up at me, the small open ring box in his hand with a beautiful symbol of his undying love for me inside. Down on one knee, under the light of the moon and all of the stars in the sky, waiting for my response for the most nerve-racking question anyone could ask.

I couldn't even look at him because it upset me. I didn't know what to do. I wished we had talked about this first. I ran through my life if I agreed to marry him, and imagined what would be my life if I didn't. No matter what, I still imagined us living together and having a family.

But... just not right now.

Ultimately, I sniffed softly and decided to go with what my brain said rather than what my heart said. We are still young, so why rush it? I clamped my lips together and carefully shut the ring box in his hand.

"What are you doing?" Soda asked, standing up with his thick eyebrows knitted together.

I felt myself start to cry and I did my best to suppress it. I but the inside of my cheek and said, "I can't."

"What?" He furrowed his eyebrows and I saw tears well in his heartbroken eyes. Rain continued to sprinkle on us, getting a little heavier now.

"I'm so sorry, Soda." I shook my head and took his hands. "I love you so, so much. I really do see us getting married, but just not right now."

"Oh." Soda refused to look me in the eye. He looked down at the ground at our shoes instead. It made me feel so incredibly guilty.

"I'm so sorry."

"How long should we wait?"

"A year?" I asked. I was unsure of how much time I needed. "Is that okay?"

Soda nodded softly. "All right. Well, you know how I feel so it's all up to you." He sniffed. He let go of my hands and he turned and headed back toward the apartment. He shoved his fists into his pockets and hunched his shoulders in shame. I stood still for a moment to gather myself, then I grabbed my phone and the speaker before I slowly walked back to the apartment myself.

When I got inside, he was in our bedroom. I could hear him rummaging around. I slumped down on the couch and pulled myself together. I stopped crying, but my cheeks were stiff from the dried up tears that went down them. I put my face in my hands and stayed there until I heard footsteps coming into the living room. I looked up and saw Soda carrying a black backpack on his back.

"Where are you going?" I asked. I stood up quickly and walked over to him.

"I'm— I'm going out. To clear my head." He cleared his throat. "I'll be back in the morning."

"Oh. Okay." I knew I couldn't stop him. He's his own person, I'm not going to tell him what to do. Maybe leaving would be the best thing for us right now. "Please be careful."

He smiled sweetly at me and hesitantly kissed my cheek goodbye. He promised, "I will."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Soda walked out the door. It slowly closed behind him from the wind, leaving me utterly alone.

When he left, I felt like everything was crumbling down around me. My elbows rested on my knees and I put my head in my hands. I was really worried about Soda. I felt so guilty about letting him walk out that door. I knew he was safe, wherever he was, but I still could not shake the feeling that he hated me.

He might want to be alone right now, but I didn't. I grabbed my phone and I immediately called Lillian.

"Hey, what's up?" She answered.