When Two Ends Meet//LRH

24

As I approach the facility door, I notice my palms getting sweaty. I notice my breathing getting heavier. I notice how I began to tremble. Amelia is just giving me back what's mine. It shouldn't be something that I'm considering the end of the world. 'Everything will be fine' I tell myself as I take in deep breaths. I reach my trembling hand out to tap my knuckles lightly on the door. The response I get doesn't surprise me, but still makes me jump.

       "Lucas. Welcome." A girl from the same room as Amelia chuckles. I smile lightly and walk into the room. I see Amelia walking off her top bunk by the wooden ladder, dressed in her regular causal black attire. "Over here, Hemmings." She says turning her back to me while taking her pointer finger and wriggling it in her direction to indicate to follow her. As I trail closely behind her I can't help but smile. She called me Hemmings. She used to hate to even think that was a part of my bloodline. The reason she lost hope and a potential home. It doesn't hurt her anymore, and that means everything to me.

      "So. I guess I forgot I had this but the more I started to remember and the less hidden this secret has been kept, it came to me. It just all makes sense now and I believe this is yours." She tells me as she opens the door to a closet and pulls out a dark blue and mustard yellow jacket. On the top of the right hand side was a big C. I stare at it in awe.
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      From his side he sees the big C. The nostalgia that comes along with it can either be tremendously filled with pride, or tremendously heartbreaking that it isn't his anymore. From my side, I see the name Hemmings written in big white font letters just above the 16. "See if it still fits." I said that for him to feel good and remember how he wore it with pride and because I miss knowing that Luke, now that I know about knowing him. Things I didn't remember a couple days ago turned into things I miss as quickly soap can slip through your fingers. He shook his head and put his hand out to grab his jacket. "I don't want to try it on. Reminds me what I gave up."

      I never understood why he did it. The more I think about it the more it comes to mind that it could just be another thing clueless Amelia doesn't know. "If what you gave up upsets you so much, why did you do it?" I asked as innocently as I could. "It's not what I gave up that upsets me. It's who I gave it up for." "And who might that be?" He stares at me. He's showing me he doesn't want to go there but I want nothing more then for him to say a simple name. Then it can all be done. "Dylan." I lock my eyes shut and look at the ground. And the spectrum goes all over again.
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     It's been a few weeks since I got back my jacket. Nothing feels different, yet nothing feels the same. Ethan hasn't been talking to any of us lately. After finding out what Gabriella is to Dylan and just everything about him in general, he's been isolating himself from everything. Despite the fact of him not really liking Dylan in the first place,  it's still someone he's spent his entire high school career with and he is just now finding out it's a lie. Brooke still hasn't really spoken to Amelia and I don't think Amelia cares either. It's a 'her loss' type of situation. With all of this tension in the air it's hard not to build up tension of your own. It's got me thinking. Amelia is so caught up with Amelia all of the time. It's all figured out. Everything should be back to normal now. Or as normal as it can get at least. I guess normal isn't the word to be describing my life atmosphere. Graduation is in 1 month and I guess nothing is going to be normal for a while.
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I throw my bag on the ground as I crawl up on my top bunk, muttering a hello to every other girl in the room. I decided to go through all my recent writings or thoughts instead of staying on my phone for the next 5 hours. I smile as I see one of them that I got the idea from in a quote. I realized how much Luke taught me what the quote was saying and wanted to write about one night when I couldn't sleep.

     "Two different people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. Luke taught me that. He taught me that in more ways then looking at constellations from his truck, or clouds from his parents front yard, or the way we interpret lyrics from some of our favourite songs. I know mainly because when I look in the mirror I don't see who I have become. I refuse to come to terms with myself on how events that took place changed me. I see myself as a fake, trying to be the old me. Luke sees me as me. Who I am now. Who I am after everything. And who I was before as a scared little girl afraid to be an open book. As far as I'm concerned, I could be a diary locked up and dusty with a thrown away key and Luke would still know everything. He takes time to really observe and know a person and for this reason, I believe it when he says the true me will forever be the best. I won't have to pretend anymore. We are two people. Polar opposites yet same to the point of almost being duplicated. We look at the same thing everyday, my point of view from a mirror and his with his primary coloured eyes I once despised, and we see something totally different. We see me."

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We see her.

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I can finally love myself.

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I'm in love with her.

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With no problems.

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But there is one problem.

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I'm happy with me.

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Where am I?