Dear diary....
Monday nope ive not gone school i dont want to ive locked my self in my bedroom and im not comming out :'( my heart just aches all day ive cried andi havent stopped i havent eaten at all and i dont want to :'( i cant eat because i feel soo alone :( i cant go school because i dont want to cry :'(
I dont know what to do with my self anymore, i dont know who i am anymore i dont know how im going to cope i just, feel soo alone never felt this alone in my life :'(. i want him to realise how much he means to me i want him to see my pain but he just doesnt care :'( why doesnt he care i dont know what to do with my self i just want to,go back in time and replay them 5 months all over again :'(..... but thats impossible....
Ive tried everything to get him to realise how much he means to me how much i cant live without him but i cant :'(... i prayed before i have never prayed in my life but i did and you want to know what i said... i said
"Dear God.... Please make this pain go away, please make me stop hurting. i cant take this anymore i cant live in this pain, i cant live with the suffer and the mental frustraition im going through, please god help me through this, i need you please" i begged and cried and i collapsed onto my knees and cried the rush of pain had only gotten to a point where i couldnt move... and now look at me diary what is there left of me :'( there is nothing for me to do anymore.... i just want this pain to go away its not going to happen its been 3hours and ive not stopped crying i just wat time to reverse i just want things to be back how they was.... but diary i think, i know and you know that, thats not going to happen now is it....
Ohh ill Keep praying everynight from this day on diary ill keep praying for the pain to go away for me to not feel alone, and one day just one day my paryer may be just may be answerd <3
thankyou diary For saving my life <////3
x x x Lauren x x x
