Blue (Destiel Highschool AU)

Chapter 11

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Monday... It all went by in a blur. I wasn't ok, far from it, but I wasn't too down either. My little interactions with Dean were what got me through the day. Seeing him in class, going to his house after support group, bunking bad lessons together and texting, or sharing music. 

Our conversations were more or less the same but Dean did ask me how I was doing more often. Constantly checking in. Occasionally when I was at my lowest he'd ask to check my arms. And surprisingly I'd let him. And even more surprisingly than that, there were significantly less scars on my arms than before he found out. Maybe Dean really was helping to fix me.

I went over to his house whenever I could without my parents getting too suspicious. It was one of those late Thursday afternoons after support group that I was laying on Deans couch listening to him chat about school and life. I told my parents I was with Hannah, they still didn't know we weren't friends anymore. And thankfully Hannah hadn't seemed to tell her parents I was gay yet.

I was laying on the couch and Dean was sat on the floor leaning against the bottom of the couch in front of me. He was facing the TV as some generic music channel played overplayed pop songs, but he wasn't really watching. I could tell because he kept looking down at his hands or around the room absentmindedly.

"So, I broke up with Lisa." He said eventually.

I didn't even try and act upset, he knew I didn't like her anyway. "Why?" I asked simply out of curiosity.

"Because you were right, she isn't really a nice person, and also I couldn't deal with all her drama.  She'd constantly try and start drama just for the attention. I have more important things to worry about than Lisa Braeden." 

This last phrase bothered me a little. "What are you worrying about?" I said staring at the back of his head. I noticed he had a little bit of product in his sandy brown hair. 

"Well I don't really know what I'm going to do after school. I'm not clever like you, and you're going to be a famous author anyway," I was thankful he was facing the other way so he couldn't see me blush. I'd told Dean about wanting to be an author once before and he hasn't let it go ever since, even though he's never actually read anything I've written. 

"I'll probably just end up working in my dad's friend Bobby's garage." he continued, "Which is fine, Bobby is great. But I can't help thinking I want something more out of life. I want to get out of this town, move to some big city, be someone." 

I nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me. I didn't say anything, I'd learnt from experience that sometimes you just want someone to listen. This was another reason why I liked Dean so much, at school he was just some generic, attractive jock. But then when you actually talk to him he's suddenly really intelligent and sometimes even profound. 

"Also I have other things to worry about. Sammy, my dad, finals, you."

He hesitated before he said the last word and everything felt weird. "I don't want you to worry about me." I whispered, not because I wanted to, but because my voice couldn't seem to make any other sound.

"Well who else is going to do it." He turned at this point to face me and his voice was suddenly much more serious.

"I don't need people to worry about me, I'll be fine."

Dean raised an eyebrow and we both knew that what I'd said was a lie.

"Cas it's fine, I want to look out for you because your one of my best friends and I wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

"We're best friends?" I mumbled smiling suddenly.

"Well we have know each other for quite a while now, and I trust you much more than other people in school, and I like spending time with you, so yeah we're best friends."