Why do I love him? (A y/n and ray story)

Chapter 19

"DADDDYYYYY!!!!" I jumped up from the nap I was taking and so did Ray. "whats wrong babygirl?" Ray hopped off the bed and picked up a little girl, about 4. She looked so much like me I thought I was looking at old baby pictures. "daddy TayTay hit me!" she rubbed her wet eyes. "Tay Tay!" Ray screamed and TayTay came running in the room. "why did you hit Nevaeh? What did I tell you about that? you get too rough with her. She's only 4!" "She cracked my screen on my ipad Ray!" I looked at Vaeh. "and how did you crack his screen?" I asked. "she got mad cause I wouldnt let her use it." "why are you trying to use his stuff when you have your own little girl?" She was sniffing and rubbing her eyes. "Tay Tay bring me your ipad." I said then looked at Vaeh. he walked out. "your daddy is talking to you Vaeh." she shrugged her shoulders and Tay Tay brought me his ipad and it was shattered. I sighed. This little girl is horrible. "alright, leave it there and play with hers. I'll take yours to get it fixed in a few. But listen, when something like this happens, you dont hit her. you come tell me or your brother and we'll handle it." "okay. im sorry Vaeh." she's just cried. She's sleepy, but she's about to take this spanking. "Alright, you can go. and you little girl, you're about to get it. You know better. Now your attitude and behavior has been horrible this week and im tired of it. go get in the bed, NOW!" ray raised his voice and got her scared. she ran to the bed and got right up under me crying. "mommyyy." she wined. "no Vaeh, I'm not saving you from this one. you've been horrible all week. no more park, or pool this week and you're not watching tv the rest of the day either. you'll be right with me or daddy all day. Ray walked over and I got up and put on my shoes and grabbed Tay Tay's ipad and the keys. "She's not using her ipad either." I said before I walked out. I hate for Ray to spank Nevaeh. It just seems like she's in so much pain. and I know he's not hitting her hard at all but I still feel bad. I try not to hit her, I let her dad deal cause he's so much better at discipline with her. I let her slide so much. I'm always saving her when she's about to get hit and thats probably why her behavior's been so bad. and lets not start on her attitude. she's got my attitude and thats not a good thing. this week has been crazy. my child is so spoiled. I heard Vaeh start screaming like someone is killing her and I shook my head. I walked past ma's room. "whats wrong with my grandbaby?!" I stopped and went into her room. "Ray's beating her." (guys, when i say whooping or beating... dont think he's abusing her... thats just how we talk down here in the south). "why is he whoppin my baby?!" "she broke Tay Tay's ipad. that girl's behavior and attitude has beed horrible all week." I sat on her bed and sighed. "wow mommy's not saving her today?" "no ma'am not this time. she needs to get right. She can cancel that whole chuck e cheese thing you're taking them to on Saturday. She's not doing anything fun for the rest of the week. Maybe next week. This week isnt looking too good for Vaeh. "well if she cant go, im not taking anyone." I shook my head. "no ma take them. she's not gonna learn if you just wait on her. dont ruin their fun because of my baby. she'll be just fine." I stood up. " I gotta take his ipad to get fixed. wannna come?" "yeah, how much will it be?" " i think it depends on the generation it is. but you dont worry about it. I'll get it fixed. my child broke it. i'll fix it." She put on her shoes and we both left. "Ma i dont know what im gonna do with Vaeh. She's getting so bad and her attitude is too." "She has an attitude like her mother." I laughed. "I know ma, but for her to be only 4, its way out of hand." "She does that because you save her from every whoppin. Every time Ray is about to handle her, you tell him not to hit her and then you still let her do what ever she wants. So now she thinks its a reward to act the way she does because she knows mommy is going to be right there helping her. She's spoiled." I sighed. "I just, I dont know. everytime he hits her, he then tells her he loves her. And i feel like she's gonna grow up thinking the only time a man loves her is when he hits her." "As long as he's explaining why he's beating her, and teaching her not to do whatever it is that she did, I think she'll grow up fine. you're worrying too much. You see how KayKay and NayNay are and Ray used to tear them up. They're fine." "so what you're saying is, when she does something wrong and its time for her to get beat or punished, just let him do what he needs to do?" "exactly, because if you dont change it now, Vaeh is gonna feel like she can run over you and do what she wants because daddy wont beat her because mommy wont let him. Like now, you let him handle her and you're taking away all fun things, she'll learn that "well maybe this wasnt the right thing to do. I wont do that one anymore." and that'll be the way she learns. if she sees the kids doing fun things that she has to sit out on cause she was bad, she wont do wrong anymore. cause she wants to have fun also. see what i mean?" I shook my head yes. Thank God I still have ma here cause Lord knows where I'll be with this crazy child of mine. She's helped me out so much. Sometimes I just feel like the worst mom on the planet. I dont wanna fail in raising my baby. I know how much it means to have your mother in your life. But sometimes I find myself on the edge with Vaeh. I dont hit her because I get mad really easily when she does something and I'll hit her too hard. Thats why I let her daddy deal with it. Im not trying to abuse my baby.