Why do I love him? (A y/n and ray story)

Chapter 18

yea soooo. i been kinda busy. sorry babiesss... but chea

These last 3 days have been awesome. Us girls and the boys were at a nice little beach house overlooking Venice Beach. The boys did it for no reason at all. Just to get away. Everything was perfect to say the least. Well, except when my shoulder started hurting so bad that I couldnt stand the pain. Ray and Prince took me to the hospital only to find out that my arm had been dislocated. Ray keeps beating himself over it. Its not a big deal to me. He didnt know how hard he was pulling me, plus he was mad as hell. I dont blame him for anything. Its my fault. Im the one who jumped out to fight, not him. He couldnt control the situation. Only I could. and I chose to handle it the way I wanted to. okay, so what if my arm got hurt. I shouldnt have been fighting to begin with. 

We finally got home and Roc dropped me and Ray off first. I cant wait to see my babies and kiss them. We walked in the house and everyone was out back in the pool. We walked to the back. "Well hello there." I said. NayNay and KayKay hopped out the pool and TayTay struggled to get off the chair to run over. "HEYYYYY!" they screamed and I bent down. "What that?" KayKay pointed to my sling around my shoulder. "its for my arm. I hurt it." "how did you hurt it?"  NayNay asked. I got into a little fight and hurt my arm. "baby.." I looked at Ray. "What? Im not gonna lie to them." "Ooooo mommy said its not good to fight." KayKay said. "I know young ladies arent supposed to be fighting. I know what I did was bad and I got hurt for doing it. so its my fault, now I have to deal with the pain. But I dont want either of you to follow my example. Don't do what I did. okay?" "okay." they both said. Ma walked over with TayTay and he reached for me. "No, no TayTay." Ray grabbed him and kissed his cheek. "She cant hold you right now. her arm hurts." He started crying and reaching for me. I laughed and reached for him with my right arm and he came to me. "Hey there baby boy." I kissed him. "will you swim with us Ray?" NayNay asked. "of course I will. let me go and get dressed and I'll be right out." "OKAY!" with that he headed up stairs. "can you swim too?" KayKay asked me. "no baby I cant. Im sorry. I cant take this off." I frowned. "its okay." she smiled and ran and jumped into the pool. Ma and I went back to the chairs and sat down. TayTay got down and headed towards the pool. "TayTay don't you jump in that pool. Wait until Ray comes back." he looked at her and back at the pool contemplating on if he should listen to her or not. I laughed. "So how's your arm?" she asked. I knew it was coming. "its okay. It still hurts a lot but not as much. They gave me pain medicine for it." "well thats good. Are you mad at Ray?" I shook my head no. "He keeps beating himself up over a mistake. Like, why would I be mad at him for an accident? Its not his fault. I take full responsibility for what happened." She shook her head. "He's gonna be upset for a while, you know how he is." "Yes ma'am. Are you mad at me?" I asked and she looked me dead in my eyes. "Im not mad, just disappointed. I've taught you to handle yourself better than that." I looked at the ground. See that, hurts my soul man. She's right. She's so right. "You're right Ma. You did teach me better than that. All these years of teaching me to act as a young woman should all went down in 10 minutes. I should've handled myself better than that. I just wasnt thinking. My emotions we're just everywhere and I was so angry. I apologize." I sighed and wiped a tear. People can tell me a lot of things that I just dont give a fuck about but the minute Ray or Prince's moms tell me that I've disappointed them, my world falls apart. They're the only mothers that I know so making them proud is all I ever want to do. I want to grow up to be just like them one day but my actions speak otherwise. She sat next to me and hugged me by my good arm. "Hey, no tears now. I'm disappointed, but it's not the end of the world. You just have to live and learn. Learn how to handle those type of situations better than that. Handle them like a WOMAN should. Little girls fight and argue. Grown women handle theres in a much mature way.. Yeah, grown women fight, but that just shows you what type of mentality they have. But we *points to her, me and the girls* WE dont fight." She smiled and kissed my forehead. "Got it?" I shook my head yes and smiled. "Now, come on inside and help me get this lunch ready, well as much as you can." I laughed and got up and went into the house.