Playing Heart Games

Level 7: Break Up With Him

VIOLET

Nerves.

I was flooded with nerves. And humiliation. And pain.

But resolve and anger. That kept me going.

I bit my lip as I waited for Mark to show up. Axel had told me to text him during a break in Mark's football practice. This week was one of the few Fridays of the term without a school game. This morning I'd planned to watch Mark during practice.

But plans changed.

Another emotion flared up. Fear—what if he'd seen me outside the classroom? What if he knew I knew? What if he'd break up with me?

The lump in my throat grew and I was sure I was going to start crying again. Before that could actually happen, a figure slipped out of the gym ahead.

Mark was dressed in his football uniform, jogging towards me. Pain pulsed through my chest.

My resolve weakened when I saw a grin stretched over his face. He squeezed me into a hug, kissing my cheek before he pulled back to beam down at me. "Hey babe."

He hadn't seen me.

Pain. Now all I was feeling was pain.

Because I loved him.

Suddenly, all I wanted to do was cry and tell him the truth. For him to say something that explained away what him and Alissa had been doing. To say something that would return this dystopian alternate reality back to how it was before, when we were both giddy with excitement because we were going to the same school.

And then I noticed a pink stain on the collar of his jersey.

I remembered Alissa's glossed pink lips.

My anger returned with a vengeance.

I stepped out of his arms.

His brows furrowed. "You okay Violet?"

He reached towards me.

"Don't touch me."

He blinked, hurt flashing over his features. His hand dropped. "Okay..." he laughed, the sound awkward. "Are you in a bad mood or something?"

I don't know. What do you think?

I bit back the words. Axel's voice echoed in my thoughts: Emotionless. When you break up with him make sure you act like you don't care. Make it impersonal, like the relationship didn't mean anything. This is what you say—

"We're done."

Mark's eyes widened.

Axel: He'll say—

"Wait? What?" Mark stepped towards me. "Vi, what are you talking about?"

I kept my face blank, emotionless, even as my heart was being torn to pieces.

Axel: Then you'll say—

"I don't want to see you anymore," I said calmly.

Axel: Then turn and walk away.

I turned, walking away from Mark.

Axel: He'll probably try to stop you.

Mark caught my hand. "Vi, please, let's talk about this," he pleaded.

Something broke in me when his voice cracked.

His eyes were huge, and pleading. "Vi, I love you, you know that. Did I do something wrong? Is it because I couldn't be there for you at school today?" He swore. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I thought you were okay—"

Axel: He'll probably beg, tell you he loves you. He might even cry. Don't give in. When he does that, you say—

I squeezed my eyes shut for a split second, then I said the words: "I don't want you anymore."

Mark fell silent. His hand slipped from mine. His voice was a breath, "What?"

My throat constricted so tightly that I could barely breathe.

He was going to cry. And if he cried, I would cry. And how could I possibly hurt him like this—

"I don't want you," I repeated.

My voice warbled at the end, but I didn't think he noticed.

Because his face had shattered, and I knew for sure he was going to start crying.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this.

Axel: Then you walk away.

I remembered Mark's lips on Alissa's neck.

I turned and walked away.

Axel: Do not look back.

I didn't.

*

Hope you liked the chapter! They've been short so far, but longer ones are coming! :)

God bless

xxx

Yemi Everest