Always the Bride

23. A really big misunderstanding

Hi guys! Sorry for the delay, it's been a really hectic week. But now that the long weekend is here I can update. I hope to update again in a couple of days if all goes well. For now, happy reading. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)

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I stare at my reflection in the mirror and scowl. Well this is me as Cindy. She is nothing like Julia. Cindy is a country girl and I’m wearing a flannelette long sleeved shirt tucked into a pair of bootleg jeans and knee-high boots. My eyes are brown and hair is now long and light brown.

Just to humour myself I part the wig down the middle then plait both sides and let them hang on either side. God I feel like such an idiot.

As Julia, I was able to look different just by using makeup. Unfortunately as Cindy I can’t get away with that. When Jamie and I ‘marry’ I can’t have anyone thinking I look like Julia. This time Jamie has made me a silicone face mask. It’s easy to get on and off, thank god.

Despite how illegal this is, for both Jamie and I, I have to confess I’m amazed how much Jamie can do. He really would do well in the movie industry. Sadly I think his criminal record would make that next to impossible. But that aside, I’m impressed that I look nothing like me or Julia. I have pale skin, lots of freckles and overall just look…cute in a farm girl way.

Damn Jamie and his crazy ideas! Yes he’s done well, yes I look nothing like me but this false identity thing has got out of control. It was supposed to be a bit of fun, give me a reprieve from my depressing thoughts but it’s no fun anymore, it’s so damn stressful.

I had gone to him last night hoping for a new identity. Not only did I get what I wished for but it was so I could marry him. I made my conditions clear of course but I couldn’t say no. It was now me who owed him a lot. The only thing I’m worried about is how I’ll get the wedding gifts. I don’t think I ca n tell Jamie of my addiction. I know he’ll refuse blankly to help me so I’m going to have to bring it up a different way. That’s something I’ll think about closer to the day.

What I’m really dreading is when Russell finds out about Julia, as in when she ‘dies’. Last night Jamie and I argued a lot about how to kill her off. He wanted her to commit suicide, brought about by the stress of the family but I didn’t want that. I want her to die properly, in an accident or something. In the end we agreed on the accident. Car accidents are more believable.

Telling Russell will be difficult and of course Jamie left that up to me. I’ve concluded I have two ways of doing it. I can go to him, reveal my true identity and tell him how our plans. Or I can get Jamie to tell him Julia was in an accident and died. I guess the million dollar question is this: do I want Russell to suffer?

Of course the answer is simple. There’s no way I want him to suffer. But at the same time I’m petrified of revealing my true identity. This is all backfiring and I don’t like it one bit. So I fear I’m going to have to do what I don’t want to. Russell is going to have to suffer. Since we don’t love each other, hopefully he doesn’t suffer too much. He should get some reprieve knowing he’ll get his inheritance.

We can’t let the accident happen yet as it’ll look too obvious. I’ve thought this out meticulously and I have a plan in mind. I’ll give it a couple of weeks then announce the pregnancy. After a few more weeks, enough to show a small belly and convince the family I’m for real, I’ll plan the accident. All I need to do is run this by Jamie. It is pretty seamless though so I can’t see why he’d say no.

God this is terrible. How can I do this to him? It’s cruel…it’s beyond cruel. It’s…it’s…it’s going to screw him over. I feel so bad for Russell.