Always the Bride

6. Giving in to temptation

Six months later

Really Teresa, it’s not that hard. Just stand up, push your chair in and move away from your desk. Simple.

Sadly it’s not as simple as it sounds. I try to stand but my legs won’t budge. It’s like they’re controlled by an invisible being under the desk. Then when I finally manage push my chair away, my hands grab the desk in protest. I can’t physically do it! It happens every single afternoon. I always manage it in the end but it’s always such a struggle.

What causes this daily paralysis? Gregory of course. Don’t get me wrong life with him isn’t all bad. Actually, I shouldn’t be rude. Life with him isn’t bad at all. He is the perfect gentleman. He works hard, he showers me with gifts (seriously he has a new gift for me every day), he looks after me and he’s genuinely happy with me. Even without the sex.

So what’s wrong? Why am I not eager to get away to see what gift he bought me today? Because I feel guilty. It’s not just because of what I’ve done. It’s because at the back of my mind, I still want more gifts. The fact he has something new every day should be enough but it’s not. They’re not wedding gifts. There’s a big difference. It has been six months and I’m having withdrawals.

I’ve tried, I really have but it’s becoming impossible. I want to do the right thing by Gregory but the temptation is too much. Something has to be done and I know I only have two options. Firstly, I give in to temptation and find a way to get more wedding gifts. Secondly, I talk to a professional and get help to cope with, and get over, this obscure addiction.

Before I can even let myself make a decision, I put all my effort into standing up and finally succeed. It’s time to go home. I’ll think about my dilemma later.

As I’m walking to my car I happen to pass the town hall. There’s a sign out the front indicating there is a wedding reception taking place. Who gets married on a Monday? That’s an odd day to marry. Then again, it’s actually a smart idea. They would probably save loads getting married on a weekday.

As I pass, my walking slows to almost a stop. I’m not sure why, it happens without any help from me. My legs have a mind of their own again. Without even hesitating, I walk inside. The door is unlocked after all! Don’t ask me why I’m doing this because I have no idea.

Looking around me I notice the hall is empty. There are tables and chairs but no people. Obviously the reception hasn’t started yet. As I turn to walk away, my eyes land on a table next to the door. It’s piled high with gifts. Wedding gifts. Oh my god, this is a dream come true!

I feel a sudden sensation in my fingers. Tingling. My heart is pounding and adrenalin is pumping through my body.

Then a thought crosses my mind. No, I can’t do this. It’s so wrong!

They’re wedding gifts, Teresa.

Don’t you think I know that? But I can’t steal one! That’s wrong on so many levels, not to mention illegal.

I shouldn’t do it. In my mind I know this. Yet my mind has no control over the rest of my body.

Getting a grip of myself, I walk in the direction of the door but my legs have other ideas. I don’t make it to the door. I’m suddenly standing in front of the table, staring at this huge pile of gifts. I watch helplessly as my hands reach up for the gift on top. I have no control over them. I try to move them away but I can’t. Then I notice how much they’re shaking. At first I wonder if it’s from fear, then I realise it’s from the withdrawals. It’s like a drug addict having their first fix after days without.