Always the Bride

12. Saying goodbye

Hi guys, sorry this is such a short chapter but I wanted a separate chapter for goodbye's and there was no need to drag it out. Anyway, enjoy and I will post a longer chapter next time. Enjoy!

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When I told you I loved you, I meant it but not the way you want me to. You’re a good man, Gregory but I just don’t love you in that way. Add to that the indiscretions I’ve listed above and I’ve come to realise I can’t put you through this anymore. I must leave you. You deserve someone who will love you the moment they meet you, someone who will give you everything you deserve...and more. I’m not that person.

Please don’t try and find me, I don’t want to hurt you anymore. All I want is for you to take hold of this opportunity to be happy and embrace it. I know there is someone out there, someone special, waiting just for you. When you meet her, I know you will be ten times happier than you ever were with me.

Goodbye Gregory and know that I will always remember you and treasure how good you always were to me.

I skim over the letter one last time, sign my name at the end then fold it and place it in an envelope. After licking the glue on the flap, I stick it shut, scrawl Gregory’s name on the front and leave it on the kitchen bench.

This has been the hardest letter I have ever had to write. At the beginning I told Gregory everything, even my embarrassing circumcision lie. It was time he knew. It was as I wrote it I realised I never loved him romantically. I love him in the sense of he’s a good man and he’s treated me well. I will never be able to love him any other way.

Taking a deep breath I turn to leave then remember one more thing I have to do. I sneak back into the bedroom and kiss Gregory softly on the cheek. He doesn’t even stir. Then I turn and walk out the door. As I pass the kitchen bench, I stop one last time, reach behind my neck and unclasp the necklace. I stare at it for a second, awestruck by its beauty, then carefully place it in front of the envelope.

As much as I love it, I can’t keep it. In fact, I haven’t kept any of the gifts he’s given me. All I’ve packed are my personal belongings. This is the hardest part of leaving. The gifts from Gregory have fed my addiction. Giving them up has been torture but I can’t keep them. I do have some morals left.

I pick up the suitcase at my feet then turn away once and for all. When I reach the front door, I take one last glance into the darkness behind me. I can’t see anything yet I remember clearly where everything belongs.

One part of me will miss this life and this house. Yet another part of me is glad to be no part of it anymore. The way I acted when we were married, and all through our six months of marriage, is unforgiveable. I know I’m doing the right thing.

As I close the front door behind me, it feels as though a part of me has been left behind. It’s a part of me, the real me, that’s been missing for months. I want that part of me back but she seems to be long gone.

So while I’m on this path of self discovery, I might as well embrace the new me, even if she is a little confused. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually have some fun along the way?

Marrying multiple men under different identifications could be a blast.

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