Empty Hand Revolution

Part 6: Trip to Thailand

The overhead light illuminated, indicating the plane’s descent into Bangkok. Cosmo had felt the same downward momentum in the recent events of his life. During the first half of 1998, the opportunities had been endless. The last few months, not so much. He stretched to see over the seat back in front of him. Many of the passengers were asleep, the cabin dark.

Cosmo had remained awake during the entire red-eye flight from Delhi to Bangkok. Unable to sleep, he hadn’t been able to focus either. His past had been so much easier to tolerate while his future overshadowed it. A hectic present wasn’t enough by itself to crowd out past mistakes.

And his mistakes were many.

On top of asking for money from disreputable sources, Cosmo had unknowingly hired a government informant. Nine months of intelligence gathering had amounted to nothing more than a few charges of faulty accounting, disturbing the peace, public disorderliness and the illegal termination of stray dogs. Unfortunately, the incompetent spy had stolen the last of their money before disappearing.

The cabin lights rose halfway. The woman sleeping next to Cosmo stirred in her seat, turning her head in the other direction. Cosmo thanked God for small mercies. The woman’s breath smelled of fish and the two single-serving bottles of Chardonnay she’d consumed over Burma. For the past thirty minutes she’d been breathing directly on him.

Cosmo shook off the bitterness he felt toward the informant. While the spy’s betrayal had been the final straw, Cosmo had been responsible for the rest.

With Hindu militants seeking his life from north and south of Delhi, the risk to volunteers had skyrocketed. The need for security further crippled fundraising. In the end, Cosmo simply couldn’t come up with the money.

Cosmo knew the scuttling of The Winning Team had been in everyone’s best interest. He also knew he had let everyone down. If only he could have done things differently.

A flight attendant’s voice broke the silence of the cabin, distracting Cosmo from his jumbled thoughts. The cabin lights rose to full intensity. Cosmo gazed out the window as the plane banked to his side. Bangkok’s sprawl crept in every direction, groggy and dripping wet under an oppressive blanket of clouds.

He tried to muster excitement for Bangkok and the Asian Games. The World Sports Coalition’s conference of sports ministry, held in tandem with the Asian Games, had provided him with a scholarship to serve as a volunteer minister.

The plane sailed into a cloud, blocking Cosmo’s view. He settled into his seat. Perhaps with the conference and the games keeping his mind and body busy, he could untangle the spiritual mess beneath it all.