Don't Let Go

03: Sleep

I wish I could say that life at home was great at home and I was just itching to leave from school everyday because I couldn't wait to see my family. But then if I said that, I'd be a lying liar because the truth is I can't stand my family and I can't wait to graduate and get as far away from them as possible.

You would feel the same way if you had a father who liked to use your saved college money to pay for his gambling habits, a mom who was so busy trying to look 23 again to care about anything else and a sister who was a raging bitch and took way too much pleasure out of ruining my life.

Take now for example. I'm on my bed in my shared room with "Princessa Carolina", trying to get through some boring trig questions and what is she doing? Skype calling her loser boyfriend. What's wrong with her video chatting with him, you may ask? Well the problem is their conversation has been dangerously close to entering Skype sex territory for the last ten minutes and Carolina can't be bothered to wear headphone so I have to hear some random guy groaning at the sight of her cleavage in her low cut, see-through tank top every five seconds.

"Damn baby the things I'd like to do to those tits"

"Mmmh, really baby?" my sister moans pushing down on her shirt to show more of her boobs. I think I see her nipple and I look away with a grimace. "Why don't you tell me what you'd like to do to them first?"

"For starters, I think they'd look damn good wrapped around my cock"

"Ugh ew!" I whisper-shout to my sister and she throws a small pillow at me, shooting me an annoyed look.

"Oh yeah baby? I can think of a few other places that could keep that cock of yours warm—"

Ok yeah, I'm not listening to this. I slam my textbook closed and rush out of the room before she even finishes that sentence. Knowing her, this conversation might go on a while so I decide to stake out on the stoop of the apartment. We live in a two story home; we live on the first floor, and another family lives on the second though we don't really talk to them or know them at all.

I put my headphones on, open up Spotify on my phone and click on one of my playlist titled, "Escape". A My Chemical Romance song blares through my speakers and I sigh, nodding my head to the beat as I look back down at my textbook.

The next hour flies by and I don't even realize that it's gotten dark outside until I realize I'm squinting to try to read the questions in my book. With a sigh I close the book up but don't get up from the steps. I can hear my dad yelling at the tv from outside and I can only image that means that once again, his numbers were not called on the lotto. He always goes on a tangent with anyone around him about luck and chance after he inevitable loses every night so I really don't feel like dealing with him and rather stay outside.

Someone yanks my earphones out of my ear and I nearly jump out of my skin in fear. I turn around and see who it was, and immediately wish I was the strike first and look after type.

"God when are you going to stop listening to that emo music, Carmen?" Carolina asks, tossing one ear phone at my forehead. "Why can't you listen to Spanish music like every other Latina in the world?"

"I'm pretty sure what you're saying has no merit at all, dumb ass" I snap, turning off my music. "And I do listen to Spanish music, but I like this music more"

My sister loves to bother me about my "emo music" which is really mostly alternative rock music mixed in with the occasional indie band but to her it sounds all the same. For some reason it's hard for her to understand why a Puerto Rican girl who was born and raised in a poor latino neighborhood would even be interested in what she calls "white music". My sister is ignorant as fuck but I'm honestly tired of explaining how music is universal and there are no genres or types of music for just one type of person.