Toward the Walk of Shame

28 {Suzy}

"So did you and Sehun really broke up?"

Lucy poked her head in my room, looking even smaller than usual in an oversized pink sweater. Her dark hair stuck out of her ponytail, making her head looked oddly shaped. She'd done her own hair this morning. At least she got an A for effort. I turned away from the bookcase, dropped the dust rag on the floor, and sat on the bed. "What are you doing? I thought you went to the store with Eomma."

"She had too many errands to run, and I told her I'll just stay home with you." Without an invitation, she came into my room and jumped on my bed, making me bounced a few times.

I didn't mind. I was happy for her company. Any company, really. I had talked to Soyeon a few times over the weekend, but she was always busy with something. And she said she could only take my moping in small doses. She promised to be back to lend a sympathetic ear tomorrow at school, but not a day sooner.

When Lucy leaned her head toward me, I pulled on her pink hair-tie and combed my fingers through her hair. Separating her hair in three sections, I braided it, concentrating on keeping each section even.

She played with the ruffled throw pillow. "So did you? Eomma told Appa that you did, but I didn't believe her."

My hands paused at the neck. "Yeah. I did."

"Oh."

The room got quiet as she rock back and forth on the bed, waiting for me to finish. I took my time tucking in each strand that tried to escape until the braid was perfectly trailing down her back. I finished the braid and tied the ends.

She scratched the bottom of her chin with the end of her braid. "Was it his fault?"

"No, not really. It was - we couldn't -" How was I supposed to explain our relationship to a nine-year-old? Ugh, even I didn't understand why we couldn't be together. I mean, I knew the reasons, but I couldn't help thinking they were stupid now. I was stupid. "It's complicated."

"Did you want to break up?"

"No," I admitted, unable to lie to her.

Her lips pouted. "Then it has to be his fault."

I couldn't argue with that logic. "Maybe."

She leaned back against my chest and let me hug her. "Suzy?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss him. He was nice. I don't think any other guys would let me put makeup on them."

I laid my chin on the top of her soft head and closed my eyes. "I miss him, too."

After Lucy left to watch TV, I finished rearranging my bookcase by genre and favorite authors and went to my closet. I'd already divided the clothes that I would bring to college, the ones I'd leave behind, and the ones I'd give to charity, but there was no harm in double-checking. Maybe there was something I was missing. Something I'd need in the future.

And that's why I was kind of buried in shirts and sweaters when Appa when in with a plateful of cookies. "Do you want to take a break for a minute?"

"Sure." I carefully moved around the piles and came over to sit with him on the bed. "Do you have -"  Without waiting for me to finish, he slipped two extra plates from beneath the plate of cookies and handed one to me with a smile. "Thanks, Appa."

"No problem. Wouldn't want any crumbs to fall on your floor, now would we?" he asked, leaned backward against my pillow. "Who taught you to be so clean?"

I stifled a laugh. He was such a dork sometimes. "That would be you. Remember? As soon as you married Eomma, you taught me that organization and structured plans were the key to happiness."