Rhythm of a Heartbreak [SLOW UPDATE DUE TO SCHOOL]

Chapter Ten: How Can I Tell You

My body slowly sulked down the side of the counter until my butt reached the tiling. Warm salty tears poured down my cheeks and into my shaking hands. I stared blankly at the blue wallpaper as my memory came in and out of reality.

"Don't be nervous," He had said.

Well now look at me, I'm 17 and pregnant! I couldn't understand how I could have let this happen. It's not your fault, my mind spoke to me. YES IT IS! I mentally shouted back. I should have never let him persuade me, he's just like every other guy. That's all he wanted. That's all he ever wanted, not me.

I stood up and punched the wall, hard. I let out a scream at the pain and ripped out my hair. I stomped around knocking things over as I did so. I screamed, shouted, and yelled. But nobody could hear me. I was trapped in this hell and I wouldn't be able to get out. I ran into the kitchen smashing into the counter top.

That's when I completely broke. I threw myself onto the floor and covered my face with my hands as tears welled up in my eyes. They streamed down my face and onto my now soaking wet shirt. I couldn't handle this, not with everything else. How am I supposed to tell my mom? And explain to Tyrus? And worst of all, what was I going to say to Llewellyn?

I didn't know how long I lay there crying, but it felt like hours. I curled up in a ball until my eyes couldn't stay open, and they were all dried out.

I sat and slept there, for what felt like days. I was hungry, but I couldn't eat. I didn't bother calling anyone, not even my grandparents. Llewellyn would always try to reach my cell, but I got fed up and threw it across the room leaving it smashed and broken on the floor. I hugged my knees, and my hands were balled up in fists.

I never moved an inch.

I looked like the exorcist. But I didn't care.

My stomach would growl and churn, starving. Today was the day that I realized I wasn't just starving myself, I was starving my baby.

My baby.

You have no idea how odd that sounds to me.

I took responsibility and crawled towards the fridge, I didn't want to eat, but I couldn't just let my baby starve in there. I sighed, grabbing some fruit and a glass of milk. It was the first time I had stood up in days, my legs were weak. I scared down the food that I brought out onto the counter, and then found myself searching for more.

After I finally ate, I felt that feeling again. The nausea. I swayed back and forth as I pulled myself up the stairs, desperately holding onto the railing. I finally made it to the bathroom and I threw up, more than I had before.

After the burning had stopped, I had to actually go to the bathroom. I haven't come up here for who knows how long. I turned my head towards the counter, and saw the pregnancy tests. All three had two lines, I was definitely pregnant. There was no argument there.

I cleaned up around the house, and tried to turn my phone on. It was completely demolished, and there was no point trying to fix it. I tossed it back on the ground, not giving a shit. I walked passed my mirror and stopped. I really did look like the exorcist. My hair was matted and greasy, my makeup smudged all down my face from the crying. And dark circles under my eyes.

This isn't the way I should be taking care of myself, I now have someone else to take care of.

I heard loud pounding on the door, "LORELEI! ARE YOU THERE?" Llewellyn's voice said loud and clear. I guess this is where I have to tell him, I mean, he deserves to know. It's his baby too. I sighed, I really didn't want him to see me like this. But maybe he'd take it easy if he saw how hurt I was, if he even cared.

"LORELEI!" He screamed again. I sulked along to the door, slowly opening it to reveal myself. He eyed me head to toe, with the most disgusted look on his face. "What the hell happened?" He boomed, forcing his way through the door. I stayed silent.

"Lorelei, do you have any idea how worried I was? You weren't at school, you weren't picking up your phone, and now I come here to see you like this? I don't understand?" His voice slowed, he shook his head.

"Llewellyn I-" I couldn't say it. But I had too. He stood there, waiting for me to speak like waiting for the end of the world. I stared at him back, but tears blurred my vision and I started to sob. He pulled me into his chest.

"Shhh," He cooed. "Everything is going to be alright."

I pulled away from him "Alright?" I asked rudely.

"ALRIGHT? NO. IT'S NOT GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT. MY LIFE IS A MESS! MY MOM, MY DAD, MY BROTHER AND NOW ME. IVE SAT HERE FOR DAYS CRYING BECAUSE IM PREGNANT. I. AM. PREGNANT." I didn't mean to yell, and I didn't mean for it to come out that way. "I'm pregnant with your child." I said again, softly.

His face went from, scared to worried. I just continued crying, and I eventually let myself collapse onto the carpet.

"Lorelei, why didn't you tell me sooner? You wouldn't have had to sit here by yourself for days..." He whispered, kneeling down and pulling a strand of hair away from my face.

"I couldn't," I sniffled. "I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't even know how to tell myself."

He helped me up onto the couch, and he sat there kneeling in front of me. He gripped my hands and kissed my stomach. "I'm here for you, the entire way. I promise." His eyes said it all, and I nodded as I pulled him in for a long kiss. Our lips parted and I sighed.

"Thank you," I whispered. He placed his hand on my cheek and I placed mine over top. He smiled at me, until I finally let out a giggle.

"You know, I think you should have a shower Hun," he started to say.

"I know I know, I'm gross I get it!" I say, hopping up off the couch loosing my balance. He grabbed my arm and pulled me close.

"We're going to make a great family." He smiled.

I felt happiness spread through my body when he said that. I guess he really did care. I smiled back at him and placed my hand on his chest. Maybe this is what the universe watned, maybe this was meant to be.

Maybe this is where I could be happy for once.

"I hope so," I said.