Rhythm of a Heartbreak [SLOW UPDATE DUE TO SCHOOL]

Chapter Six : Spinning In Circles

         When I got home from Llewellyn’s, I was off. I didn’t know how it affected me. He was silent all night, and barely even looked at me. Was he ashamed? Was he embarrassed?

         Was I that gross? I didn’t even want to think about it.

           I was standing close to the edge, one I didn’t know existed. I was irritated, I was frustrated and I was miserable. I let my own thoughts get to me. No one is as mean to me as I am to myself. I stomped around the house, not caring what eyes were watching.

           I finally decided to take a walk.

           I walked around the block, listening to music. It always calmed me. People stared horribly as I hummed when they walked by. But I didn’t even care. I didn’t want to care. They didn’t know me, they judged.

           I realized it was late, and I rushed home. I took a bath and got changed. I flipped open my bed covers and huddled inside. I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling. All I could think about was why he looked ashamed and embarrassed. I couldn’t think of one positive answer.

           I turned over, and let sleep take me by the hand.

                                                             •§•

           For the past couple of days, Llewellyn has been acting strange. He’s avoiding me. Every time he sees me in the halls, he walks the opposite direction. Every time I wave to him, he gives me an awkward smile. Was he really going to let that almost-kiss make everything awkward and intolerable? Was he really going to let that happen?

           I know I sure wasn’t.

           I walked straight up to him from behind, so he couldn’t see me coming. I pulled on his arm and he whipped around. “Loerlei I…” he stuttered.

            “Oh just listen to me!” I half-yelled, “I don’t understand why you’re avoiding me. Are you really going to let that awkward moment come between us and-“

            Before I could finish saying what I wanted, I felt his warm lips press against mine. They were soft and gentle. I felt his hand on the small of my back, and I gripped onto his curly hair. He kissed me passionately, slow. Our lips moved in rhythm to our breathing. And then soon enough, our lips parted. Our faces broke apart, but lingered only a centimeter away. Our bodies were still against one another. People were staring. I could feel his warm breath as he touched his fore head to mine and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

          “Don’t be,” I smiled, and pulled him in for another long kiss.

                                                      •§•

             My head was swirling with emotions. I couldn’t think straight, and I could barely focus on anything for more than a few seconds without thinking of him. For the rest of the day, I smiled like an idiot. Our kiss was something special. I felt something, something that no words would ever be able to explain. Words weren’t good enough. What was going to happen next? I didn’t know, I was still stuck in the moment.

             Once Tyrus and I got home, I ran up to my room. I looked in the mirror. I looked so happy, so ecstatic. I’ve never seen myself look like this, I liked it. I wanted it to be there when I woke up the next morning. And the morning after that, and the morning after that.

             All through out dinner I couldn’t go without humming and hopping around. I fidgeted and laughed at the wrong moments, making a complete retard of myself. But I didn’t care. I jumped out of my seat and got ready for bed. I already knew I was going to toss and turn all night long.