You're Not What I Thought

Chapter Fourteen

Michael's Point of View

She was the last person I'd expect to be standing outside my room. Why is she here? I see her in Luke's arms and I cringe. Why is she hugging him? Luke releases her and looks at me. She looks up at Luke and follows his line of vision to me. Her eyes are red and swollen; it was evident that she was crying. When she see's me, tears stream down her cheeks and she walks up to me. Calum, please don't leave. I think to myself as she gets closer to us. She comes to us and kneels so I'm level with her. 

"I'm so sorry." I hear her sob as she puts her head in her hands. I don't do or say anything, remembering what Matt said. I know I shouldn't follow with what that jerk said, but I don't want to get her hurt. Who knows what he'll do to her? 

"Calum, take me to my room." I say to him. 

"But Michael..." he says, geusturing with his eyes towards Andy. I shake my head. 

"Take me to my room." I command and Calum follows. He takes me to my room and helps me onto the bed. 

"Why the fuck is she here?" I whisper to Calum and he shrugs. 

"Maybe Luke called her or something?" Calum answers. Luke comes into the room and stands next to the bed. 

"Michael-" Luke starts. 

"Why is she here? Did you call her?" I ask him, apparently irritated. 

"No, she asked me if she could come cause she found out." he tells me. 

"How did she find out?" I ask. 

"She overheard Matt talking about it and he threatened to hurt her if she came here." Luke tells me. What a fucker? How dare he? He has the best girl in the world and he would treat her like that? He obviously doesn't deserve her. 

"Michael?" I hear her voice say at the door. We all look up towards her as she stands in the doorway. "Can I talk to you? Alone?" 

"Um..." I hesitate. I look at Luke and Calum for a suggestion, but being the best friends they are, they leave the room leaving me hanging. What am I supposed to tell her? I haven't had enough time to form my initial feelings at the moment. 

"Hi." she awkwardly say to me. 

"Hey." I say sternly. I'm not the happiest person right now. I mean she breaks my heart and then her boyfriend comes and beats me up, like, I don't think anyone would feel pleasant right now. 

"I'm sorry for everythi-" 

"It's fine." I say. I just don't want to talk about this right now. 

"I'm serious Michael, I can't believe this happened to you." she tells me. 

"Me neither." I reply. I'm being such a dick right now, but it seems as if my emotions have taken over for me. 

"Michael?" she asks me. "Are we still friends?" She really has the nerve to ask me that right now? 

"I don't know." I say and her face grows upset, dissapointed in not hearing what she wanted to hear. 

"I'm really hoping that we still are. When I heard that you were almost in a coma, I felt like my world was ending. Like a part of me was going away as well. I've been so lost and dazed without you Michael. My head and heart weren't aligned, but now it is." She tells me. 

"Please don't get my expectation too high, I can't deal with being let down again." I say to her. I have to hold back a few tears from the thoughts of every single ounce of pain I've felt since I met this girl. 

"But, I love you Mikey." she tells me and I look up at her. "I know you probably never, ever want to see me again and that I'm the last person you want to be in love with you, but I've realized that I am." Oh my. 

"Remember when you paid for my ballet lessons?" she asks me and I nod.

"And I said that I would loose one of the two things that I actually like?" I nod. 

"That other thing was you." she tells me. "It's always been you! Every time we got closer, every time we reached another step in our relationship, I tensed up. I tensed up because I was scared of you. Scared that if I became close to you, then I'd get my heart broken like all the times before. I guess the tables have turned, haven't they?" 

"Why would you tell me now? Do you feel sorry for me? Do you think that I can just jump into a relationship with you and everything will be fine? If I didn't get beat up, would you still tell me this?" I brutally ask. If I was sane, I would've slapped myself. But I wasn't. My anger and sadness were driving me. 

"I'm so sorry that I have probably stepped on your heart, but that was in the past. I know what I did was selfish and horrible of me, but all I can do is say sorry and offer you my finest self. I can't go on without you Michael. These past few months have been the best I've had in a long time, and I don't want it to end. I love you Mikey. If I could, I would take all your pain and all your heartbreak and replace it with joy and smiles. I would take on all your sorrows and all of your depression for you in an instant." she says to me. I couldn't hold it in any longer. Tears cascaded down my face and into the sheets of this damn hospital. 

"Get out." I tell her. I can't think with all of these noises, all of these voices. 

"Michael-" 

"Get out," I sob, "please." I see her crying as well. I hate that I've made her feel this way, but I needed to let it out. I had nothing else. She backed up towards the door and left. I wanted alone, but I couldn't feel it. I grabbed the sheets and bunched them up in my fists. I brought them to my face and sobbed into it. All the thoughts of Andy, Matt, the boys, Mom, it was too much. I stopped sobbing and pulled off the clip on my finger. The nurse didn't come back yet to put the wires and needles in me, so I was lucky. I pushed through the sharp pain in my sides and chest and slipped my feet into some slip-on shoes. I hoped on that wheelchair and wheeled out of that hell hole like there was no tomorrow.