How to Plan a Party for Schmidt

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There are a few simple things when it comes to planning a surprise party for Schmidt... well if you know Schmidt you know that simple doesn't cut it.

1. You need a seriously awesome borderline offensive party bus. Preferably one with "a state-of-the-art sound system, a stripper pole, a love grotto, and a steering wheel in the shape of a boob. You honk the nipple."

2. If  you're going to have a theme it has  to be something cryptic that only Schmidt would get e.g. "Bros Before Hoes on the Moon" with a contrasting dress code like "yacht flair".

3. Strippers! "Preferably of Asian heritage, very bendy, with a heart of gold and a crotch of gold." If you're a girl please specify that you want a female stripper, or they may send a man.

4. Schmidt is Jewish so consider that when buying the party food. Always go for "Kosher-Yoge" and honey. And charcuterie is a must have.

5. Make sure to provide protection. "We got some condoms Over here small, medium, large, whatever your preference."

6. Don't forget the Bro Juice. It's a Schmidty's birthday tradish. Be sure to get Nick to whip up a batch before the party.

7. Schmidt has a birthday song! "We Built this Schmidty on Tootsie Rolls!" Don't let Benjamin bully him into singing it!

8. Have a crazy lady yelling into a megaphone- Jessica Day? Check.

9.  Make sure you're on all of the lists for all the hottest clubs like Plague or you won't get in.

10. Do not invite the crazy lady Nick is dating at the moment.

And finally you have to make sure all of this is going to impress Benjamin...well, that'll never happen. Benjamin loves to embarrass Schmidt so if he acts like the douche he is throw his ass out of that party bus!

In Season 1 Episode 10 The Story of the 50 you can see Jess's surprise party for Schmidt.

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