Here's To The Hopeless

10: Can I Tell You a Secret?

Peace; the release of tension when you are finally able to sleep and forget about the shitty situation that has been replaying on your mind up until that moment.

Apparently, Peace Gods aren't on my side tonight because after what felt like seconds since laying my head on my pillow, and finally getting a release from my stupid thoughts, I was awakened by the loud sound of repeated banging. I shoved a pillow over my ears and tried to drown the obnoxious sound out of someone knocking so I could fall back to my peaceful state.

A minute later, the noise still hadn't stopped.

With a groan, I rolled out of bed, walking to the front of the house, not bothering to let them know I was coming in hopes whoever it was would fuck off by the time it took me to reach the door.

I wiped my eyes to see clearer as I unlocked the front door, opening it, looking at whos there and almost shutting it straight in their faces. I'm greeted by two people holding up a guy who looked passed out, the girl and guy obviously having to hold up his weight.

"Sebastian was driving and his car broke down, did we wake you?" Sherrie's once soft voice had turned obnoxious and full of curiosity, her speech slurred. "I know you don't want to see him, or m-"

"What'd he have?" I asked, eyeing Jack off as he lay limp, vomit on the front of his shirt.

"I don't know," Sherrie mumbled and I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from saying anything. They were together all night, how'd she not know what he had?

Instead of screaming at her like a banshee, I tried to change the subject, turning to Sebastian who's eyes were already on me. "Where's Izzy?"

"At a guys house," Sherrie butted in, and I turned back to her. She continued, "I don't know who's, just a guys. He's in college with Jack."

I smiled grimly, "that really nails it down from every other college guy there." I opened the door and finally allowed them inside; "You're not very observant, are you?"

I turned back to Sebastian, sitting down on my couch as I spoke, "you can chuck him on my bed, I'm staying up for a mix anyway." My voice was husky as the sleep clearly hadn't worn off in the last 5 minutes, and the few hours of sleep certainly didn't help my drunk situation. "You can join if you like."

The three of us sat around my lounge room, lazily sprawled on the couches as Sebastian and I smoke, Sherrie just giggling and probably trying to get room stoned. "Can I tell you a secret?" She moved towards Sebastian and he raises his eyebrow at her, smirking.

"Nah."

Despite the obvious disinterest in her secret, she leaned closer to him, wrapping her arms around him like a four-year-old would to a golden retriever.

"I love him." She slapped her hand over her mouth after, looking up at me and back to Sebastian, and I wasn't sure if she was trying not to giggle or trying not to cry. She was a mess. "I love him so much and you," she paused, being far too over dramatic for my liking, "you like us together. Jack's told me that you think we're good together."

My eyes flicked to Sebastian as his met mine and I quickly looked away, not wanting him to see the hurt expression on my face. He was encouraging them?

I knew he disliked me but at this point I was sure it was hatred he had towards me.

"You don't love any-" He was cut off by her as she tried to rest her head on his shoulder, resulting in him pulling back, trying not to laugh.

"What are you, ten?" My jaw dropped as even through her drunken state she seemed to know not to defend herself, instead, she kept pouting, sitting back in the chair, her eyes watery.

"He doesn't love me." She finalised, and Sebastian just shrugged, leaning back against the couch.

"There's worse things."

I grabbed the bowl from the table, noticing we'd smoked the remainders of what was in there. I just took more of the weed out of the tin foil, before chopping it into the bowl as we all finally sit there quietly.

Sherrie wouldn't stop staring. It's not that I didn't like her; well actually it was that I didn't like her. I don't like that she could just sit there and cry about the guy I love not loving her. Granted she was drunk, but it wasn't an excuse to me, and I certainly didn't expect my Saturday night to feature her acting like we were friends just so she could say shit like that.

"How do you do that so fast without cutting your hands?" Sherrie's glazed eyes were stuck examining my hands while I chopped the buds and tobacco until it was almost a dusty consistency. I just shrugged. A dirty habit leads to accomplishing dirty things.

"Am I even supposed to ask questions like that? I know I'm being annoying." She concluded, shaking her head at herself. It was clearly her first time wasted and the emotion I felt for her was one of sympathy and jealousy -- she'd gone her whole life up until now before she had to be hassled by drugs and alcohol. If you ask me it's not a bad thing.

"Sebastian's just good at mixing drinks I suppose." She slurred.

"Well, I won't deny that one; Best in town." He smirks as she agreed blindly, and within moments I could visibly see his ego growing. If he gets any more of that he'll explode like a guy watching a Nicki Minaj music video.

"It's easy to do." I argued and he shook his head, clicking his tongue.

"You need to master the art, darlin."

Curiosity took over, as it would tend to do around him.

I held up my finger, as if to say 'one minute', before I packed the cone piece, taking the bong to my lips and lighting it up, breathing in the smoke, before taking my hand off the shotty and breathing in the remainder of the smoke, taking it away from my lips and passing it to Sebastian, breathing out the smoke.

I smirked at Sebastian before I get up from the couch, going into the cupboard, looking up at Debbie's alcohol on the top shelf. My hands moved on their own, grabbing a bottle down of the Jack Daniels and Smirnoff, and getting different drinks to mix them with out of the fridge, walking over and setting them down on the coffee table, walking back to get glasses. "Whoever makes the best drink wins."