Stay Sane

Chapter 1: Victory Tour Twelve.

I couldn't say it was unexpected because it wasn't. I could say it hurt me more than I could put into words though. I've never felt so...so...so hurt in my life. When I breathe it feels like my ribs are puncturing my lungs not letting me breathe, suffocating me from the inside.

I knew he was a goner, the minute he met me. I'm reckless and unstoppable with a mouth the size of the moon. He didn't listen. I pulled up walls higher than you could imagine and made sure he wouldn't and couldn't break through them. But they began to crumble.

He used to tell me he loved me. Hold me carefully as if I was as fragile as glass. He did everything I could ask for and then some.

He broke down my walls promising to never leave me like everyone else did. They all got up and left me with my broken feelings.

But now he's gone. He left.

Corrin fucking left me on my own.

When I was little and my relationship with my parents was much better, we used to talk about love. The 'I love you's' before I went to sleep or the 'have a good day, love you'. I ddin't realise what love was. You can't define love, there isn't enough words to say about how you feel. I didn't understand what love felt like before Corrin, I thought I knew what it was but I was wrong.

Love is that undying affection you have for someone so deep you'd do anything for them. Die for them. Protect them.

Love is weird.

I didn't ask to fall in love. I didn't want to because everyone I love leaves.

I guess I just have to get used to it.

•

"Up, up, up!" A knock on my train door wakes me up.

Oh the luxurious life of a victor, note my sarcasm.

"Oh go away, Una!" I mumble into my pillow, fighting my way back for some sleep.

I'd never been so deprived of sleep. It's not like I wasn't allowed it was that I couldn't. No matter what time it is, memories come back to haunt me and I'd rather use matches to keep my eyes open than to relive my Games. They were some scary shit.

"I'm telling you once Johanna! Get up!" Una yells, or tries too.

"Okay, okay." I say making no effort at all to move.

Just as my eyes were rolling in my head, a cold sensation jolts me up.

No. Fucking. Way.

I yelp and jump up from my now soaking bed. Blight stands with a vase and a grin covering his whole face.

"Get out! Get out!" I scream, walking towards him angrily, my finger pointing to his chest before jabbing him.

He backs away with almost fear in his eyes. Yes Blight, this bitch is angry.

"Okay, I'm going, I'm going."

I slam the door shut behind him and make my way to the bathroom, dragging some comfy clothes with me. No doubt my crappy prep team are going to make me look 'pretty'.

After a long, long, shower, I get dressed and head out to the dining cart.

"Are you ready for today?" Genny asks, while I stuff my face full of toast.

"Hell no." I reply.

Today is the first day of the Victory Tour out of thirteen. We start at Twelve and work our way to One, missing out Seven and going to that last before making the last stop at the Capitol.