Dear ex-boyfriend,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that you no longer have any power over me. I'm not scared of you anymore. I just don't really want to be near you, because of the hell you put me through. I'm as healed as I ever will be. I was in therapy for a while, that's what helped the most. As much as I want to forget what you did, I can't. It's always going to be a part of me. But I am somewhat over it. If we were friends, you would be proud of me because you'd know how far I've come since then. I still get depressed sometimes but I don't do a lot of the things I used to do and my scars are fading.
Believe it or not, there was a time when I loved you. A time when you were once my everything, a time when I trusted you with anything and everything. I should hate you but I don't. I don't hate anyone. It's just going to take a long time before I can feel comfortable around you again. It amazes me how having you in my life turned from a blessing to a lesson. You showed me the dark side of people that I thought didn't exist. What you did was an example of how selfish and heartless a person could be. You made me realize that you can't trust no one.
You wouldn't believe what I was thinking after what you did. I remember thinking,
"I deserved this. I must have done something so wrong as to deserve this. Well I have done so many things wrong. I guess I do deserve this, and this is God's payback for all those things I have done wrong."
But after a while, I realized that I'm not the one who made the choice to do this to myself.
You know better than anyone that I am there for anyone who needs a friend, no matter how much they hurt me. Most of the time, I'm the one who needs a friend. That's why I'm there for anyone who needs a friend or just someone to talk to, because I know what it's like to feel like you're all alone. I used to know the feeling and I don't want someone else to have to feel like that.
I don't hate you. I could never hate anyone. But I no longer let people treat me like a doormat.
Jenn
YOU ARE READING
50 Letters
RandomThis is going to be a book of letters I write to the important people in my life. It's called 50 letters but I don't know if I'll reach that number. If I do reach 50 letters, I may change the number in the title if I plan to write more letters after...
