The Mute Mistress

The Mute Mistress: Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Around 9 PM, Mary took her headphones out as she sped out of the 'GT' train station and followed a small crowd on the sidewalk. Glass Town was a twenty-minute ride from the apartment and was the neighborhood of nightlife in Sandy Hills. The last time she was willingly out this late was almost a year ago. Back then she met with her old college friends in a creative group at a local art studio. She remembered having fun cutting papers and working with paints and crafting materials to create mixed media.

Two blocks later and she was close to her destination. Mary walked up to 'The Tottie' and returned half a smile when sharing her ID with the bouncer. She got a stamp on the back of her hand and held her breath walking in. The smell lingered beyond the door, but the scent of beer struck her upon entering.

She couldn't miss who she was looking for. Nellie's beautiful smile stood out behind the bar as she chatted with a couple of patrons. Nellie always put her hair up before walking out the door like it was part of her uniform. Mary knew it wasn't a requirement even if her sister never explicitly said why. She was tough as nails, working in a bar after all they had been through. But she always did what she had to do to make ends meet. Mary couldn't imagine a world without her sister, and she had to let her know and advanced towards the bar.

"Mary?!" Nellie exclaimed in panic. "What on earth are you doing here?"

"I have to talk to you," she confessed.

"You chose the busiest night? We can talk at home."

She refused. "No, it can't wait."

"Hey there Mary," Joe greeted with a big smile under his mustache. "Your sister's right. It's busy tonight. You sure you want to talk to her here?"

Mary held her stance with a nod and he went on, "Aight, well she has a break in fifteen. Why don't you sit in the corner booth over there?"

Mary followed his attention to the red leather seating closest to the bar. She was under her sister's watch and could read Nellie's frustration. But being in the apartment alone with her thoughts ate at her. Their last fight left everyone so bruised, their mother couldn't leave her bedroom for hours. Buddy kept her company, but he was perceptive enough to know that there was something in the air in the home. When he wasn't napping, he tried to put on a magic show or read a book to them. Aside from him, no one had exchanged a word and rarely did they walk away from one another without attempting to understand or apologize.

She pulled out her phone. For a moment she hesitated before opening her texts and reading the last messages with Nathan. She missed him badly. Just around this time the night before, she was with him. She thought like a fool believing that a night of indescribable passion could lead to anything more, but she couldn't deny feeling loved. She had wondered what his lips would feel like, and she felt them all over her body. She had wondered what words of honor from his mouth to her ears would sound like, and she heard it in a promise. Was she delusional to think that he may love her? It felt like it, especially when she remembered how he last called her name like it was a delicate, fragile thing.

"Mary?"

Stunned by the familiar voice, Mary swallowed and turned her eye carefully. Gene waited until she faced him before a smile twitched on his face. Rema followed behind him until she saw the puzzled face in the booth. The look in her eyes wasn't unkind, but they could hardly look into Mary for long. She tugged at Gene's arm, urging him to come with her, but he asked for a minute. Quickly, his girlfriend dismissed herself to the far side of the bar. She didn't look happy.

Nellie fled her post and left little room between her and him. She threatened through her teeth. "Gene, don't you dare."

There was remorse in his eyes when he asked, "Can I just talk to her for a minute?"

"No."

The moment was too familiar. Mary closed her eyes and schooled her breathing. A month ago the psychiatrist asked her to consider this moment. It hurt then to think about him and his last words, and it hurt, even more, to see them together again. Naturally, after the breakup curiosity took her online. It only took him a week to allude to his new relationship when she cut off all links back to him.

"Just a few minutes," Gene begged to Nellie.

"I'm okay," Mary signed to Nellie. Though, she was mildly faint.

Her big sister wasn't convinced, but Joe summoned her back to her post with a whistle.

Gene took a step closer. His lightly freckled nose was something she used to find so appealing. He brought a smile back. "Can I sit down?"

She didn't answer. He sat at the edge of the booth, and she squeezed her phone tighter in her lap. "Mary, we haven't spoken in a long time... and I've been wondering how you've been for a long time."

Her attention pulled from him and to the table. "I'm okay."

"Are you sure? Like, right now are you okay?" He asked, examining her closed posture.

So badly she wanted to shout for him to go away. Times were hard for the Georgias a year ago when their mother fought a severe respiratory infection that kept her bedridden for months. They were in and out of the hospital, worried and overworked. But even when her mother was well, it was challenging for her to find a job as she was more vulnerable and immunocompromised. Gene supported as much as he could, but then it was clear that the distance between them grew the more she chose to stay home. He deserved a piece of her mind after leaving her for Rema. For so long they knew her as someone who didn't speak and knew her preferred language outside of the home. She trusted them and never saw it coming. Just when she grew comfortable enough to use her voice with them– to no longer be the one who didn't speak in their eyes–they left her.

Gene sighed, "Mary I tried to explain why I couldn't–"

Finally, she looked at him and shook her head. "Why Rema? Of all the people in the world? Why my friend?"

His shoulders slumped, "Wow, you really can't talk to me anymore."

In an instant, she felt sick overload inside. She averted her eyes and inched away to the opposite end of the booth clutching her phone and her purse.

Suddenly, Nellie returned. She looked in her little sister's blank eyes and ran back to her boss."Joe, I have to take a break, please."

Nellie sped from behind the bar and grabbed her sister gently by the shoulders, shuttling her out into the fresh air. Finally, Mary could breathe again and the smell of the bar was faint.

Her saving grace bent her head to level their eyes. "You don't have to force yourself to try to talk to him. I don't care how long he's known you."

"It still hurts."

"I know, and I'm sorry. Hate me for saying this but you should never feel unsure about who you're with."

"I'm okay," Mary signed with long breaths.

"I know you are," Nellie reassured. "Is it okay to get a hug?"

They embraced and Mary said, "I don't want you to be disappointed in me."

"I'm not. I'm just scared for you."

"I want to help again."

"I know. And you can, but your health always comes first. I wish you could know what I feel when I see you sitting or standing there completely frozen. I know you're trying to say what you want to but you can't. He can't force you to speak."

"I wish I could."

"But you can't, and that's okay. Do you understand me? It's how you are. I know that, and he knew that. But he couldn't handle what comes with loving you."

Mary looked into Nellie's glassy brown eyes. "Nathan knows too."

"Do you really believe that?"

"He knows I can speak, but doesn't ask me to." The confidence in her gray eyes caused Nellie to look away momentarily.

"Mary, I'm going to call a ride for you, okay? I just want you to get out of here and go home."