Falling In Love With Gemma // g.s. {discontinued}

-Chapter Two-

-Chapter Two-

I think it's pretty shitty how we all have this vision of a perfect life and how things are supposed to be; that's how we all end up disappointed and pathetically hurt. Maybe I just think to much of what my life should be, or would it could've been like, instead of in reality where my life really is. Maybe life just isn't for everyone.

I walked closer to the gate of the Styles' yard and watched my feet as I turned the corner. It was two-sixteen last time I checked the clock and I can't sleep, per usual. I need a cigarette or a joint, a blunt, something to calm my nerves. I don't want to be here. Not with these people, not in this house, not in Cheshire. I want to go home, to Essex and just relax. I want time to rewind back to mum, dad, and I. We were all so happy, so free, so peaceful.

“Duke?”

My head snapped up at the voice and I sighed once I spotted Gemma on the other side of the pool. She was still sporting her night clothes and I noticed the bags under her pretty brown-green eyes. She was so flawless that I was afraid to step near her.

“Duke? You okay?”

No. I don't know what I am. I want to scream. I want someone to hold, to lean on, but I want to be alone. I want to be away from reality. I want to be dead.

“Yeah. 'm fine.” I replied.

“Come sit.” she said patting the spot next to her on the hammock. Just hours ago she was threatening to call the cops on me again and now she's inviting me to sit next to her? “Please.”

I walked over slowly, taking a seat next to the dirty blonde haired girl. She smiled up at me before laying on the string that held us above the ground. “You know, our dreams are up there somewhere,” she said. “They are just waiting to come true, we just need a light to guide us.”

My light is dead.

After sitting in silence Gemma asked me a question I didn't want to answer, “why are you like this?”

“Because, I don't want you to see me for who I really am?”

+

Two days later, I sat outside of a holding room at the court house. Anne, Gemma, Robin, and Harry were all called in one at a time to answer questions about me, to see if I have been keeping up with the work I was supposed to be doing. I let my head hang, my hands cuffed behind my back. This is it. Either I stay or I go back with them.

“Ms. Vages, glad you could make it.”

My head snapped up just as the door to the holding room opened and people piled out. I store at the tall woman before me. The woman that I looked almost identical to. The woman that raised me. The woman that I trusted the most.

“Victoria, what is your bloody problem!? Getting arrested and I'm having to take time off work to come and get you! You are a disgrace, a disappointment, and a shame to call my child.” and even after all these years, all these months, it still stung when she said those words. “What would your father say?”

I just sat there and listened. I listened as every hurtful, spiteful word spewed from her lipstick layered lips. She was right, Hell, she was always right. I'm not even trying anymore. I looked over to the Styles' and they all watched, everyone in the station just watched.

“- can't possibly get anywhere in life like this Victoria! What happened to you?!” she screamed to me.

I stood up and look her dead in the eye, so close our foreheads were mere inches away. “Everyone left me.”

I lifted my arms over my head, double joints coming in hand, and loosened the cuffs before walking into the holding room and locking myself in. I didn't move for the rest of the day.

-Gemma-

I watched through the glass as Duke sat there, sleeping against the wall of the building. How could someone be so full of life and then be so empty? Where does it all go?

“Gemma we have to leave.” said Harry, “I've got to get to the airport.”

“I – alright.” I said looking back out the glass at the girl who lay helplessly on the floor of the empty room. And even though she couldn't hear me, I said,

“Night Duke.”

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